The Bub in the Belly

We had a packed Sunday. Richard brought Ryan for his swimming class while I brought the pets to the vet for a check-up. Everything is fine - our cat, Tiger, is doing really well, he's eating and drinking and in high spirits. Max the dog had an episode of ticks and mites but it looks like he's free of them now so he's happy. A little overweight, but happy.

After that, we rushed over to Hort Park for Happee Day, which was a charity event benefiting the Children's Cancer Foundation, spearheaded by Mother, Inc. The event started at 9 am so we were really late but we managed to catch Jimmy the Juggler's performance, which was superb. Ryan seemed to be quite interested in watching him juggle his machetes (!) and other stuff.

The event was strongly supported by lots of volunteers and I think there was something to interest everyone - bouncy castle for the older children, lawn activities for the outdoorsy types, balloon sculpting, facepainting and caricatures for the indoorsy types, food for the hungry, performances for the bored, arts and crafts and cake decorating for the creative, PS3 and Wii consoles for the tech-y types, mascots and superheroes to entertain the children, phototaking and printing for the families and fantastic goodie bags for everyone else.

Seeing the Happee smiles on the CCF children's faces was amazing and all kudos goes to Daphne of Mother, Inc. and her husband, Kelvin, and of course the army of volunteers and sponsors. I didn't do anything to help out with the event (but got so much in return) so if you're like me or if you couldn't make it and would still like to assist the Children's Cancer Foundation, please consider making a cash donation. Just click the button at Mother, Inc.

After the event wound down, we went for a quiet lunch at Blooie's with the gang - Shann's family, Alicia's family and Florinda's family. Then it was off to Shichida. We missed last week's class because Ryan fell asleep. This week, we made it to class but that was the only difference - Ryan still slept through it and he woke up just before it ended, in time to wave his hands along to the Sayonara song. His sensei was very amused. We went home and I spent some time playing and reading with Ryan while Richard took a short nap.

In the evening, we met up with Shann's family and Belinda's family for dinner at Casa Verde at The Botanic Gardens. The weather was nice and cool and the children were delighted to be outdoors. Ryan was a little tired by then but couldn't sleep until he had expended all his energy so he wanted to hop, skip and run about. When he was done, he fell asleep in my arms, while we continued chatting at the table. He woke up as we were leaving, which was close to 10 pm. His routine went completely out the window today but I think he had a great day.

Ryan in the hotel room at Swissotel The Stamford

Ryan in the hotel room at Swissotel The Stamford, showing off his eyelashes

Ryan at the playground during outdoor play at Playclub

When I was a little girl, one of my favourite films was "My Fair Lady" starring Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle, a cockney flower girl who takes speech lessons from professor Henry Higgins, a phoneticist, so she can pass as a proper lady. It has been described as the "perfect musical". I watched it over and over again. I knew the lyrics to all the songs and I even knew the lines for all the scenes. I still sing the songs to myself sometimes. One day, I hope to watch the original Broadway musical.

Anyway, I was reminded of it last night. We went out for a walk down our street. Richard and Ryan were walking ahead of me and it struck me that this would be one of the last few times that we would stroll along our street. There were many things about our street which I have grown accustomed to. The peacefulness. The cars parked along the side. The trees. The dogs, including a huge brown one which we thought was a bear and the crazy labrador who barks at everyone who passes by (don't believe all you hear about friendly labradors - this one actually tried to maul my dog once). The grumpy old lady who tells us to steer our dog clear of her front gate because our dog was "dirty". The kids who bounce on their trampoline in their garden. The old man at the top of the row who washes the part of the public road in front of his house and scolds the road workers for messing the road up. The old couple living next door -they planted shrubs on the pedestrian sidewalk on the other side of the street because they just had too many plants in their garden and when they walk out of their house, the husband walks twenty paces ahead of the wife. The security guards at the neighbouring condominium who recognised our dog and helped us to find him when he went missing.

I was reminded of the song "On the street where you live" where Freddy sings about how he loves Eliza and that he will wait for her on the street where she lives. He sings,

I have often walked down this street before;
But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before.
All at once am I Several stories high.
Knowing I'm on the street where you live.
Are there lilac trees in the heart of town?
Can you hear a lark in any other part of town?
Does enchantment pour Out of ev'ry door?
No, it's just on the street where you live!

Of course it's a song about love, not about the street. It just comes to my mind everytime I have good feeling about a street! Hahaha!

Anyway, here they were last night, father and son walking up the street. This was really late - around midnight. Sigh, one of the little things I will miss. Hopefully we will have a similar routine at our new neighbourhood.

These are the lights we bought for the living room - the Kartell FL/Y designed by Ferruccio Laviani.


Not so many of course! They are gorgeous but they are huge! We bought three in three different colours and let me just say that it was a nightmare picking the colours.  They will be hung in the double height space in the living room.

For the dining area, we need a strong big light because we foresee that the dining table will frequently become a workzone. We decided on the Neutra light, also designed by Ferruccio Laviani for Kartell. Although there are only two colours (black and white), we still agonised over which one to pick! Eventually we chose the white.

When we bought our first apartment in KL many years ago, we had it done up as a luxe bachelor pad. We didn't do any renovations but we went crazy with the loose furniture and bought some iconic designer pieces which we had always lusted for. The place was a yuppie haven - dim lighting, heavy curtains and the only things in the living room were a very large and deep sofa, a Le Corbusier chaise lounge, a Noguchi coffee table, an Arco floor lamp and all the electronics a guy could ask for (TV, stereo system, home theatre system, game consoles, internet, etc.). There was not a single family photo in sight, no ornaments, no bookshelves.

In contrast, in Singapore, our previous homes have always been done up very simply. There were just Richard and I at home, so the emphasis was on low maintenance and high practicality. We keep rather long hours at work and by the time we get home, housework is not a priority. Things have to be fuss-free. Keeping pets also influenced our choice of furniture, we try not to buy anything that would cause us heartache if damaged by them.

Things changed when Ryan came along and our latest apartment in PJ is the opposite of our first, it's more of a family home. We collected our keys earlier this year and did some moderate renovations, keeping the place bright and spacious. Lots of photos, books, trinkets and travel souvenirs are on display. Now for our new unit in Singapore, we also want to it to have a family-feel. We want it to be bright and cheerful, with lots of areas for children to run and play. We want feet to be put up, pets to lounge about, children to make messes and adults to relax. Again, nothing too precious that would cause us a heart-attack if damaged by children or by pets.

We spent quite a lot of time dreaming about what we wanted the place to look like. Initially we were very keen on the Scandinavian style - open- plan, light-filled layouts, clean lines and natural materials. We thought of a white space, with pops of bright colour. You can check out the house visits at Dos Family for what I mean. There are more pictures at Emma's blog. Just lovely. And so child-friendly too.

We bought our dining table and chairs while we were still in our Scandinavian phase. We chose a Tulip table by Eero Saarinen with a white marble top. The matching Tulip chairs are candy-coloured. We bought lights from Kartell for the living and dining areas. I'll show you in the next post.

Since then, we have moved on from the Scandinavian look. We realised that it was all bright, pale and light in Scandinavia homes because of the long dreary winters and the lack of natural light there. They used all that white to reflect whatever light was available. In Singapore where the sun shines all year long, all the white walls and furniture would just give the place a harsh feel. Nevertheless, we still want the place to be bright so we don't want walls or furniture that is too dark. We did consider putting up wallpaper and even went through reams and reams of samples at the wallpaper store but in the end, we decided to keep the white walls but tone the effect down by getting some furniture custom-built in medium dark wood.

There is not a lot of custom-built furniture but all of the custom-built furniture that we do have, we designed ourselves with some inspiration from Italian furniture brands. There will be wall-hung bookshelves and a wall-hung TV console in the living room, a simple buffet table/sideboard in the dining area, wall-mounted storage along the passageway to the rooms and a working desk and floor to ceiling bookshelf/TV stand in the study. All this carpentry will be done by our contractor at the factory and will be installed at the unit in about two weeks' time, after the walls are re-painted and the floors touched up.

In the meantime, we are trying to sort out the smaller details. As I mentioned in a previous post, we had the covered pergolas installed on the terraces. Yesterday we put in new ceiling fans to replace the existing ones. We also bought some additional lights last week, which the contractor will pick up from the shop and install for us when she installs the furniture. The contractor will have to come again in December to install all the Kartell lights, because they are only arriving in late December (takes three months to be shipped into Singapore). Hopefully we can have them in time for Christmas.

We plan to move in November because after that, there just won't be time. Richard has promised his present company that he won't go on leave for the remainder of his time with them so we are left with weekends to pack up and shift. Weekends in December will be filled with Christmas lunches/Christmas dinners/Christmas shopping so it is not realistic for us to expect to get much done if we wait till then. After that, it will be the run-up to New Year's Day (Richard's family are planning to visit during that time). Richard starts at his new firm in January so it will be a little stressful and definitely not a good time for packing and moving. Then, Ryan has his birthday in late January, quickly followed by Chinese New Year in early February 2011 and we'd prefer to move before rather than after Chinese New Year.
 
So we've got just a couple of weeks left to sort out a whole list of things. We still need to buy some furniture (we have yet to find beds and living room seating) and electrical appliances (kettle, fridge, washing machine). We still have to buy curtains/blinds. There are still some decorating issues to resolve - we haven't planned our bedroom or Ryan's playroom yet. We need to sort out our stuff - what to pack, what not to pack. We need to change our mailing addresses, decide when to terminate the water/gas/electricity supply, get the internet and cable connected at the new unit and book a professional mover.

Ok, so lots and lots of things on our to-do list, which I've termed "Project N". The letter "N" is related to our new address, but I suppose it can also stand for "New Nest". Good stuff, whichever way you look at it.

A Spongebob Squarepants lantern that Ryan's nanny got for him for the recent mooncake festival

Although there is educational value in the TV programmes starring these characters, Richard and I have not introduced Ryan to any of them, mainly because we don't have any children's TV programmes on our cable subscription (actually, we only watch TV for football). That also means that Ryan doesn't get any time with these characters when he is with us. We also don't buy any merchandise featuring these characters so he doesn't have any stuff at home reminding him of them. I guess that keeps things in balance.

Having said that, I'm glad that Ryan is being kept "socially connected" and he is in tune with what children are into nowadays. Of course, it's not an issue at this stage but in time to come, he will need to build his own social circle and, while he doesn't need to have every toy/gadget on the planet, he should at least know a little about what the other children are interested in. I certainly don't want him to be a social outcast among his peers. He should be a child of his time and generation, not a child of mine.

I guess one fear that parents have is that their children will become fanatical about these characters but, in my opinion, shielding them isn't the answer, and shielding could lead to more undesirable outcomes. I would rather introduce my children to these things and teach them how to apply restraint and moderation. That would surely be a more valuable and practical life lesson and skill.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about change. There are going to be a lot of changes for our little family in the upcoming months.  A new home next month, a new job for Richard in January, a new routine for Tiger, and some lifestyle changes that come with the new home, the new job and the new routine for the pets.

Judging by the massive number of self-help books that teach you how to change your life for the better, I suppose there are lots of people out there looking for change. Me? Change is the last thing I want sometimes. Still, change is unstoppable, however unwelcome it is. So, our approach is to go with the flow and trust that everything will work out, and it always does.

The most painful change that we've suffered was a miscarriage a few years ago. We were devastated and we mourned and cried for our loss. After some time, we healed and we continued to open our hearts to the idea of having a family. Now we have Ryan, our gift and our blessing.

It is not always easy but I like to think that Richard and I are people who see the glass as "half-full" and not "half-empty". So when change hits us, we don't spend a lot of time complaining or whining. We don't continue to cling on to what has been lost, instead we are optimistic about what lies in store for us. It's like playing poker. When you are dealt a bad hand, you do the best you can with it and after that, you forget it and move on to the next hand and stay focused on a winning outcome.

Then there are times when, instead of change being forced upon us, we are lucky enough to be given a choice whether to make a change or not. It can be a hard decision because we may have to forgo things which we enjoy or leave behind things which we love. I think that many people, including me on occasion, reject the opportunity to make changes, no matter what the self-help books say. Those were the times when I felt that my life was perfect, I had everything I wanted and I didn't need anything else. I didn't want to step out of my comfort zone, I didn't want to leave what was familiar.

For example, when we moved out from our Cairnhill apartment, we thought that we'd miss being able to stroll down to Orchard Road for shopping or to Newton Circus for supper. We definitely enjoyed living there and it was appropriate for our lifestyle at the time - working ourselves to the bone during the day, clubbing and pubbing late into the night, shopping at all the designer labels, being close to the "hip and the happening". We wouldn't have changed a thing, we were so happy.

After we moved, we realised that, ironically, we had handicapped ourselves when we were living in Cairnhill. Living in such a convenient location, we never felt the need to venture very far and we didn't feel the need to try new things because everything was just a few minutes away or just a short walk down the road. We thought that we had everything we needed nearby but we were just short-sighted. In reality, we had made our world very small and limited and prevented ourselves from gaining new insights and experiences.

Once we moved away to a "less convenient" location, we made more effort to explore new places and do new activities. We started spending more time in parks and at the beach. We also spent more time at home, reading, cooking, crafting, gardening, tending to our hobbies and hanging out with our pets. We had lots of new and different experiences and lots more fun.

That's why sometimes when I'm faced with a choice, I like to think that it's God's way of telling me that there're some goodies waiting for me, but I have to let go of what I'm holding before I can grab onto and receive His blessings.

Apart from expanding our world, our relocation and our resulting change in lifestyle also prepared us mentally for parenthood. So when Ryan eventually came along, we didn't feel like we had to "give up" our old life because we had already outgrown it. There was no point being within walking distance to the malls along Orchard Road or being able to walk out for a midnight movie or for a late night supper or being able to walk home from Zouk because we weren't interested in those things anymore. Instead, we wanted to spend the time cuddling with Ryan in bed, reading books to him at home, cycling along the beach, having a homecooked meal and chasing bubbles in the park.

So it's true that, when we move out of River Valley and out of our landed home, our pets won't be able to just walk in and out of the house and we won't be able to park our cars right outside our front door. We will miss those little conveniences. But there's little else that we will miss. There're so many more goodies waiting for us. We're going to have a swimming pool. We're going to be close to the beach. New restaurants to try, new places to explore. It's going to be wonderful and we can hardly wait.

The tree outside our house changing its leaves for the season (the building in the background is the condominium opposite our house which was recently constructed)

Richard took Ryan for his swimming class today while I brought Tiger to the vet for his check-up. The amazing news is that Tiger's creatinin levels are now normal at 2.1! That is so wonderful and we are so happy! Looks like the fluid therapy at home is working so we will continue with it until we are certain that Tiger has stabilised. We are to bring him back in a week for another check-up. Really great news, we are so relieved and overjoyed. Of course he isn't cured, but at least we know that we can keep the condition under control.

Ryan skipped Shichida today because he fell asleep round about the time we were due to leave the house. Actually so did Richard. So I followed suit and we all had a nice afternoon snooze. Heh heh. In the evening, we went for dinner at Asia Grand Restaurant with Kenny, Belinda and Matthias and Joey and her two lovely daughters, Ginelle and Ginette. We had a nice time chatting and catching up.

As is our usual routine on Sunday night, we took our cars to the petrol station to top up for the week. Then we went for a late supper. As Ryan was still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, there was some loitering along Orchard Road. Actually, it was more like circuit-training.

Up the stairs!

And down the ramp! Ryan went up and down this "circuit" at least 20 times!

I was excited to see the beginnings of the annual Orchard Road Christmas decorations. It's such a great feeling to know that Christmas will be here soon.