The Bub in the Belly

This post is a mish-mash of recent photos. Like many parents, I snap a million photos of the son (almost) everyday, and not every photo fits into a theme, so I thought I'd just throw them into one post.

This is Ryan's recent Lego Duplo creation. That's Buzz Lightyear at the top right corner, preparing to fly "To Infinity and Beyond!" We're not sure whether Ryan prefers Woody or Buzz at this point, but it sure is amusing to hear him exclaim, "To Innininy and Neyornnnn!" In December last year, we had thoughts of popping into Hong Kong Disneyland where they just opened up a section based on Toy Story, but we decided not to go just then. Maybe this year?

The next shot was taken at Beach Road Prawn Noodle Restaurant, which is near our home. Ryan loves chopsticks so he always collects a handful when there are some around.


There was a couple sitting at the next table and the lady apparently decided that I needed to be aware of some important things, so out of the blue...

Lady: Your son is very handsome.
Me (after looking around for the voice): Oh, thank you. (smile)
Lady: He will be a good speaker. (she says this in Mandarin)
Me: Oh (laughing a little), he is just starting to talk now. I'm still waiting! (smile)
Lady: Yes, he will be a good speaker because his upper lip points upward. (she says this in Mandarin and with absolute conviction)

(That's according to an old Chinese saying - if your upper lip (Cupid's bow) has an upward arch, you will be a good speaker.)

The next photo was taken at Tanglin Mall's snow village. I like this photo, despite the technical flaws, so it gets included! It's the expression on Ryan's face that brings me back to this photo again and again - so innocent and full of wonder.


We are still breastfeeding! More on that in a separate post.


There were a few weeks last month when Ryan liked to stuff his fingers into his mouth. And I'm not talking about sucking on a thumb, I mean five fingers at one time go into his mouth! Here he is in the car, playing with his fingers in his mouth and reading "The Very Busy Spider" by Eric Carle.


Enjoying another book in the car. This was "The Very Hungry Caterpillar", also by Eric Carle. Ryan turns the pages and prompts me to "read" the book to him while I drive. Yes, I know every word by heart. And so does Ryan! I'll try to get a video of him reciting the story!



Brushing teeth with daddy.


Some post-birthday bash photos here.

Fresh flowers - anybody knows what these are called?


The leftover curry from the curry fish head. After keeping it for a day or two in the hope that we'd find some way to consume it, we gave up and threw it all away.


A couple of nights after the birthday bash, the wind came howling through the house and lifted the inflatable bouncy castle off our terrace, depositing it in the bushes in the driveway. That shows how strong the winds were because that thing is heavy! Fortunately, Richard went out to the terrace in the morning to check on everything, otherwise we wouldn't even have realised that the bouncy castle had flown off.  On a previous occasion, the wind tried to take off with our sprinkle mat but that landed in the driveway too. Exciting living in the east. Anyway, here's Richard collecting the bouncy castle while I snapped a photo from our balcony.

I'm not quite ready to come back yet, maybe
another week or two, but the longer I stay
away, the more I'm looking forward to coming
back. I've missed this space! Bear with me ok?

I have been receiving some lovely emails from
readers - always wonderful and always brings a
smile to my day. Thanks for dropping by the blog!

In the meantime, here are some bits and pieces of
our recent adventures.

- Ryan has been watching this series called
"Word World" on DVD and he absolutely
loves it. I mentioned before that he's presently
into words and letters (and numbers)
and this series introduces new words and how to
spell them, so he can't get enough of it.

- We've moved Ryan to a different slot for
swimming. I mentioned before that his classmates
have all progressed way ahead of him (because we
don't put him in the water often enough) so we've
switched him to a different class where the
children are still at his level. Also, it starts a little
later than his previous class, which means we
have a better chance of being on time!

- Ryan had a haircut last weekend, his shortest yet.
He sat on the (raised) seat on his own and was very
cooperative.

- While we were waiting for his turn at the salon,
we managed to catch a mini-musical! We were at
Forum the Shopping Mall and there was a free
performance at the atrium, which took about 30
minutes. A trio of performers expertly acted and
sang the story of The Gruffalo! Ryan knows the
story inside out and he was captivated!


- We recently introduced the bottle to Ryan at
home, although he still latches whenever he
wants to. I've stopped pumping at work and his
nanny has been giving him formula for a while
now. He still needs to latch to sleep when he's at
home though. I'll do a separate post on that soon.


- Here's a short 25-sec Youtube video of Ryan
dancing to Lady Gaga's Bad Romance.
He's actually trying to focus on eating his french
fries but the rhythm just got the better of him.
We were at McDonald's.

We brought Ryan to see his paediatrician yesterday morning for his Hepatitis A booster. This concludes all of Ryan's vaccinations up till the age of 6 years old. He took the jab in his arm, and he was all smiles. Darling boy.

We had a short chat with Dr Ngiam as usual before the jab and here's a run down of what we discussed.

We talked about Ryan's growth - he is 11.1 kg and 87 cm tall. We were wondering if he was too small but Dr Ngiam said he's fine for his age. He said that, from now on, Ryan should put on 2 kg every year.

We mentioned that Ryan is still taking a lot of milk. Dr Ngiam advised us to reduce this and increase his solids and make sure that he is eating three meals a day. At Ryan's age, milk (whether breastmilk or formula), should be regarded as only a supplement or a beverage, like say coffee or tea. He explained that, as there is only so much that the child's tummy can hold, we have to maximise the nutrition in that small space. While there is nutrition in milk, it is still mostly water. He said that, in terms of nutritional value, one bowl of porridge is equivalent to five bottles of milk (whether breastmilk or formula) and Ryan certainly can't hold five bottles of milk in his tummy. He told us not to let Ryan fill up, or even half-fill, his tummy with milk because then Ryan will lose out on the chance to take in nutrition-packed solids.


I did say that we are gradually cutting down on the milk (more on that in a separate post) but Dr Ngiam said that we should do it fairly quickly and not drag it out. He also said we should definitely cut out the night feeds as this may lead to tooth decay as traces of milk stay in the mouth the whole night. Dr Ngiam suggested preparing solids that are more on the crunchy side, which Ryan can hold and bite into, like nuggets, pan-fried fish, wedges, and of course rice and noodles. No more mushy food - he described it as "pig's food" - hahaha!

Actually we have never prepared mushy food for Ryan and we have never bought jars of pureed or blended baby food. Initially, when we ate out, especially in Chinese restaurants, we did cut up the veggies and the meat for him in bite-sized portions but he refused to eat them like that, so we stopped bothering. After all, he is capable of eating and swallowing, he just wants to know what it is that he is eating so destroying it into little pieces isn't going to help him identify it. I have seen parents who cut the veggies and the meat smaller and smaller every time the child refuses to eat and I always wonder why they do that - does the child not know how to chew/swallow, does cutting the food up make it taste better? (Actually, Richard and I are horrified whenever we see a parent fish out a pair of scissors to cut food at the dining table - I have never seen a pair of scissors make an appearance at the dining table anywhere else in the world - why can't they use the eating utensils? What in the world are they teaching their children? But that's another story.)


I should clarify that we think that Ryan's speech development is fine and we are not worried about it. It's just nice to get the "ok" from a professional.

Dr Ngiam again reminded me that we should not be concerned about socialisation at this stage and, in any case, there are lots of things to learn in a home environment, including socialising with people. If Ryan is lucky enough to be able to be in a loving home environment, then we should not deprive him of that precious time and opportunity. That made a lot of sense to me. It also reminded me of what I'd read and researched - that, historically, the very purpose of early childcare was to get children AWAY from the influence of their feckless parents. Not to be presumptuous but I think Richard and I are quite safe for Ryan to be around.

I suppose Dr Ngiam's point is that, at this age, there is so much in the child's world that is new and exciting and whatever is not there is not necessary at this point in time. There is no need for the child to receive extra "stimulation", which is what many parents worry about, and there are more important things in a home environment which your child should be exposed to. So, unless there is nobody to take care of your child, there is no need to send him/her to pre-school.



So we will stick to Dr Ngiam's advice to wait till Ryan is at least four years old before considering enrolling him in pre-school. The more we think about it, the more we talk it through logically, the more it makes sense and we are happy with our present arrangement. It is perfect for our circumstances and for Ryan's needs, plus it fits in with how we want to raise our children.


[All photos taken at Casa Verde on 19 June 2011.]

I have been spending the past few days catching up. Catching up on work, catching up with friends and most of all catching up with my two guys. My company trip to Bali was the first time that I've been away from them ever since Ryan was born, so it was a big step for all of us. I was going to be away from Friday morning till Sunday afternoon. We had two concerns - whether Ryan would have enough milk (breastmilk) and whether Ryan would be able to get to sleep without nursing (we co-sleep and he still nurses to sleep).

The first was the easier one to tackle. I nursed Ryan on Friday morning and left Richard with a couple of bottles of breastmilk for the rest of my trip. I asked him to rely on solids whenever he could. Richard was prudent enough with what he had to make the stock last and he even had a little leftover when I returned. I actually gave Richard licence to feed Ryan goat's milk/formula, but my dear husband knows how much it means to me that Ryan stays on breastmilk, so that's what he did. Actually, Ryan's nanny has offered him fresh milk and formula milk before but Ryan has flatly refused even to taste it.

Over in Bali, I expressed my milk. I didn't bring a pump, I just brought two bottles and some milk bags and I hand-expressed. That was the easy part. The tricky part was getting the milk back to Singapore without it going bad. I didn't bring a cooler bag/case so I had to bring the milk on board which meant that each bag could not contain more than 100 ml of milk and I could not carry more than 1000 ml in total. On the eve of my departure, I asked the hotel to store the milk bags in their freezer. Unfortunately, when they delivered the milk to me the next morning, the bags were still unfrozen. Nevertheless, the milk was still good. I had to leave the hotel at 10.30 am for a flight arriving Singapore at about 3.30 pm and, without a cooler bag, that meant that the milk would have to survive at least 5 hours unfrozen. What did I do? I didn't do anything. I just carried the bags until I boarded the flight at 1 pm (by which time they had been "unprotected" for about 2.5 hours). Once on board, I asked the crew to keep the milk for me in their fridge/freezer, which they did. When I got home, I popped the bags into my freezer and that was it.

Of course, I could only be so casual because the milk was at most 2 days old. If I had been away for longer, I would definitely have needed more back-up. I also had no worries about feeding any undetected expired milk to Ryan because he absolutely rejects it. These kids know better than we do.

The second concern was not at all easy to tackle. Richard said that, while the daytime naps were less stressful, it was tough going at night. Ryan literally spent the whole of the first night crying and thrashing about. Richard said Ryan was even pawing at his mouth showing that he needed his mummy around to suckle. Richard had to bring him through the entire house to show him that I wasn't hiding somewhere. It was heartbreaking. Richard also had to carry and hold him the whole night and I don't think Richard got any sleep at all. The second night was a little better. Not much better, just a little. There was crying, thrashing about and pawing at the mouth (some minor scratches to show for it) but Ryan was so tired that he kept falling asleep but he was stressed enough to wake up every hour or so and then cry himself back to sleep. Richard carried him throughout the night, just like the night before and let Ryan sleep on him.

It sounded like torture to me and if there was any thought in our minds of getting Ryan to stop nursing, that thought swiftly evaporated. The intensity of Ryan's reaction is a clear signal to us that he is not ready to detach (pun intended) and we are not going to force him to do anything he's not ready for. In particular, we are firmly against any strategy that gets the child to "cry it out", whether it is to achieve sleeping separately, sleeping throughout the night, weaning, or even going to school. I don't agree with those parents who ignore the child, let the child cry it out and, once the child stops crying, conclude that the child is all right. In my view, all it means when the child stops crying is that the child has finally accepted that you're not going to come to comfort him, to help him or to be with him. He may be able to deal with that knowledge. However, that's not a message we want to give to our son. If he still needs us, we'll be there.

So when I got back, the moment Ryan asked to be nursed, he got it. When it was bedtime, he was so excited that he was squealing and making little happy noises as he got into bed and prepared my side of the bed for me.

Apart from that, the days passed by quickly. On Saturday, Ryan had his end-of-term PlayClub class when he dressed up in our homemade cowboy costume, which drew lots of oohs and ahhs from the teachers. On Sunday, he skipped swimming class (it was raining) but went for Shichida and he did well in class.

As for me over in Bali, well it was nice to have some me-time but actually most of the time was spent in workshops and the rest of it was spent watching the rain. It rained everyday. I didn't see the beach at all.

The massive 9.0 earthquake over in Japan happened on the Friday that I arrived in Bali and there had also been some recent volcanic eruption in Indonesia. Indonesia issued a low tsunami alert and there was neverending coverage of the devastating impact of the tsunami and the painful aftermath on all the news channels. It was just terrible and heartbreaking to watch. On Saturday, the tsunami alert was lifted for Indonesia but many of my colleagues were still nervous enough to change their tickets and fly home as soon as the workshops ended.

I didn't change my flight but there was definitely a sense of relief when I boarded the flight home on Sunday. And when I got home, I hugged my family a little tighter and a little closer.

Japan, our prayers are with you.

Hello dearies. I have been falling behind on my posts and I do have quite a bit to update. It's been sort of a struggling week for me - I've had a few family issues to sort out, which has been very draining on me mentally. I'm looking forward to life getting back to normal next week.

Anyway, some updates on our adventures.

On Friday morning, I brought Ryan and my mum to NAFA Arts Kindergarten for a tour. Looks good. I'll do a separate post on our visit.

In the afternoon, I brought Ryan to the paediatrician to get his vaccinations up to date. His regular paediatrician, Dr Ngiam, was on leave so we consulted Dr William Yip instead, at the same clinic. Dr Yip has attended to Ryan a few times before (including when Ryan was born), so we are quite familiar with him.

As usual Ryan took both his jabs well, with no fussing or crying. Dr Yip was amazed and said that he was so brave. Dr Yip also did a wellness check for Ryan and certified his development as normal. Ryan is 10.6 kg and 83 cm. (There was no post-jab fever.)

I took the opportunity to ask Dr Yip about weaning Ryan off breast milk. I also mentioned that Ryan isn't always keen on his solids. Dr Yip said that it's fine if Ryan prefers breast milk as breast milk has plenty of nutrients and calories (Dr Yip was very impressed (shocked, even) that we were still breastfeeding!). He said that, if I do wean Ryan off the breast, the real substitute for breast milk is solid food, not formula or milk, and he said that it's perfectly fine if I choose not to give Ryan formula or milk. His point is that there is no rule that Ryan's nutrition must be delivered through formula or milk, and formula/milk is just another form of food. Of course, if I do want to provide a milk substitute, he said there are a variety to choose from - soy milk, cow's milk, etc. So Dr Yip basically gave me the same advice as Dr Ngiam did.

For dinner that evening, we went to the buffet at AquaMarine, Marina Mandarin Hotel. Wrapped up the day with a movie on DVD.

The next day, Saturday, we had a simple lunch at Beach Road Prawn Noodle, at East Coast Road.

Enjoying the jumbo prawn noodle, while Richard is having the pork ribs noodle.

Don't be misled by the photo - Ryan isn't able to handle the chopsticks yet. Nevertheless he always wants a pair for himself and we do let him hold them and do what he likes with them. He does know that they must always stay in a pair and he is always very careful to keep them that way.

In the afternoon, there was PlayClub and this week was Daddies' Week. As usual, we were asked to come in similar father-and-son outfits. We brought out the shirts that Richard and Ryan wore for Daddies' Week two terms ago. Looks like Ryan can still fit into his, although the label states that it's for 12 months.

There was a birthday celebration in class today so there was cake for everyone.


Outdoor activity was sandplay. I get the feeling that this is not one of Ryan's favourite outdoor activities (or maybe that's me), so I'm glad that he gives it a go anyway.



While Ryan's class was finishing up their sand play to go into the classroom for music, the other PlayClub class came outdoors for swimming. The Mandarin teachers in the other PlayClub (Ryan's ex-teachers) called out to Ryan and tried to lure him to the swimming pool. It was very amusing because Ryan's Mandarin teacher then tried to entice him to go back inside for music, so they were literally fighting over him! Of course, the swimming won in the end. Ryan walked over to the pool area (Ryan's ex-teacher was delighted to open the gate for him and take his hand) and he even tried to climb into the pool! Haha!

In the evening before dinner, we hung out at Parkway Parade for a little while. Ryan got into this coin-operated ride (a hot dog truck) and discovered for the first time ever, that it actually moves! There were some children in the front of the truck and their parents put a coin into the ride while Ryan climbed into the back. He was quite intrigued when it started moving and he sat quietly at the back for the entire ride. After that, we felt obliged to put in a coin (to contribute our share) so Ryan got to go again!


I think he thought that the child in front was really "driving" the truck - when the ride ended, and the "driver" got off, he got up and walked to the front and called for another driver, and when another child boarded the truck, he quickly sat back down at the back! Hahaha!

Ryan fell asleep on the way home, which was about 7.30 pm. Amazingly, he slept until 9.30 am the following morning! He must have been completely wiped out. While he slept, Richard, my mum and I had a barbeque dinner on our upstairs terrace.




Will post our Sunday update next!

I have been meaning to write a post about breastfeeding for some time now. Mainly because of the various reactions I see when people find out that I'm still nursing.

In the first rocky months of nursing, I got a lot of support and encouragement: keep going, don't stop, try for six months. After six months of nursing, people kept telling me, that's good but you can stop at one year. Which I thought was pretty strange - why would I reward my son with such a terrible gift for his first birthday? Then Ryan turned one, I was still nursing and suddenly I didn't get encouragement anymore, the questions became more like: isn't it difficult to keep going? Which I also found strange because things usually get easier the more you keep doing them. Now that I'm still nursing Ryan at almost 18 months, people just ask, so when are you going to stop? Usually, in order to put them at ease, I have to come up with some sort of target (maybe when he goes to school, maybe when I start planning for number 2, etc.).

I find it interesting to see all the different reactions and I suppose I'd ask the same questions if the positions were reversed. It's also interesting to listen to mummies who no longer breastfeed. Some give you a passionate explanation about why they stopped breastfeeding. Listening to these mummies, you can tell how much they loved breastfeeding and how much it hurt to give it up. Other mummies think nothing of it, they just move on.

Let me put the record straight. I am pro-breastfeeding but I am not a lactivist and I am not anti-formula. If you don't breastfeed, I'm not going to ask you why not.

Above and beyond being pro-breastfeeding, I am pro-choice. To me, breastfeeding is just one of the many choices that we make as parents and every mummy is entitled to make her own choice based on her personal circumstances. My circumstances, both at home and at work, have allowed me to nurse my baby and to continue nursing him. But if my circumstances were different, I could very well be formula-feeding my baby now. So there really isn't any point in comparing which is better, I think every mummy wants the best for her baby, be it in terms of food, education or life experiences.

Ryan is 17 and a half months now and his milk is still exclusively from the breast. During the workday, I express and pass the bottles to his nanny the next day. When Ryan is with me, I latch him on, I never use a bottle. Sometimes when he latches on one side, I will express (usually by hand) from the other breast. During the night, Ryan latches on if and when he needs to, whether for comfort or for milk.

Is it stressful? Well, yes and no.

Yes it's stressful, because I don't keep any stock in the freezer, which means I can't slack off on expressing. I don't keep any formula on standby at all and neither does his nanny. Milk supply does drop sometimes, eg. when I fall sick or when I miss pumps at work, and it is pretty stressful to have to catch up when I'm feeling sick or when I'm so swamped with work. If I have to be in the office on a weekend, I have to plan ahead and squeeze in an extra pump so that Richard can feed Ryan while I'm out.

But no, it's not stressful, because after nearly 18 months of this, I know how to deal with the issues that crop up. I don't sit around and worry and fret.

The main issue is low supply. When milk supply drops, I know the cause - I've been sick or I've not been eating/drinking enough or I've not been expressing enough, etc. - and so I know how to remedy the situation: express more frequently, eat/drink better. If supply is still low after a few days then I empty my breasts even more frequently and supply usually jumps up again. If low supply still persists, then I take fenugreek for two days and supply will also get a boost.

The other issue is getting the most out of every express. This is important because it keeps the breast in high productivity and keeps supply up. Also, I do have a busy workday and sometimes I can only get away to pump once a day so it is really vital that I make the most out of it, and so I do. I can stimulate letdown easily now, I usually do three letdowns in one session, until the breast is well and truly drained. Normally, I pump on the first letdown, then I hand express on the subsequent ones.

Disadvantages to breastfeeding at 17.5 months? Well, I'm lucky that Ryan has had no problems with breastmilk or with latching and so there are no disadvantages as far as Ryan is concerned. I believe that, at this stage, when our babies are nearly 18 months, breastfeeding is really not so much about our babies anymore. It's really more about the mummy and how she feels about it. So, all the "disadvantages" are mine, and these would be the changes that I have to make in my lifestyle. I don't have complete liberty in choosing what to wear - I always have to think about ease of latching/pumping. I have to carry my pump/bottles/milk to and from home/work/nanny. I still don't get uninterrupted sleep at night.

Still, I don't see these "disadvantages" as disadvantages. These are lifestyle changes that I made with no regrets and no complaints. There are many changes I've made since Ryan came into my life and I take breastfeeding as just one of them. If I had to choose all over again whether to breastfeed or not, I would.

So is it worth it? Well, I won't talk about the health benefits of breastmilk. Of course, breastmilk is superior but I do think that formula milk is pretty good. I honestly think that there's not a lot of difference after the first year, especially when our children can make up whatever they need from solids.

But yes, it's worth it! There are tons of "lifestyle advantages" - the main one being I don't have to use a diaper bag (and I have yet to see a nice-looking one!). More importantly, and as any mummy who has successfully nursed her baby will testify, it is an incredible bond, one that is both physical and emotional.

Of course, a mummy who does not nurse or who has stopped nursing does not necessarily have a different bond with her child. There are different ways to bond, and all are good.

Just because I choose to breastfeed, doesn't mean that I think less of formula feeding. I think there is a problem in that formula feeders don't get enough support. Of course, breastfeeders do require a lot of support and there is a lot of support for them in terms of information and support groups. But I find that this big push for breastfeeding and all this stuff about how "breast is best" give formula feeders "Bottlefeeding Guilt", and they feel like they have to justify why they don't breastfeed. I don't agree that there should be any judgment about which is better, especially when we're talking about children who are nearly 18 months old.

So, I just want to say that, inasmuch as breastfeeders are given support, formula feeders should be too. We should all bear in mind that, all that truly matters is that the baby gets fed and the mummy is happy.

If you have the interest, visit this blog: Fearless Formula Feeder. This increasingly popular blog is catching the attention of both formula-feeders and breastfeeders for its support for formula feeders, without having to pass judgment on anyone. Great reading.

At lunchtime today, I went for a talk by BMSG (Breastfeeding Mothers Support Group). I didn’t learn anything new, but I enjoyed listening to women talk about their positive experiences with breastfeeding.

I have had no problems with breastfeeding. I have breastfed Ryan for 6 months since the day he was born and he has not had a drop of formula. I am sure that there are many many many women who have done and are doing the same. Still, I have not had the pleasure of sharing many positive conversations with successful breastfeeders about breastfeeding. Perhaps we are shy, perhaps we are modest, perhaps we are embarrassed, perhaps we are competitive. We shouldn’t be. Being happy about successful breastfeeding doesn't necessarily mean we are showing off.

Breastfeeding is a privilege. It is something that only mothers can share with their babies, and only for a short period in their child's lives. Those who are fortunate enough to be able to breastfeed are the best people to encourage other mothers who want to breastfeed. There is so much misconception and misinformation about breastfeeding which can be addressed if successful breastfeeders are willing and able to share their positive experiences. Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be only about painful nipples, engorged breasts, mastitis, infections, low supply, blocked ducts, leaking breasts, lack of sleep from pumping in the middle of the night, no letdown, etc. There is so much more on the flip side of the coin. Yes, problems may surface from time to time but not for everyone and for those who do encounter these issues, not all the time. With the correct knowledge and the right mindset, breastfeeding is achievable for most people. The greatest obstacle is to give up too easily or too soon. So it is very important to give lots of encouragement and positivity to mothers who are breastfeeding.

So, all you breastfeeding mothers out there... THUMBS UP!