The Bub in the Belly

This is Ryan's interpretation of what is generally assumed to be Vincent Van Gogh's last painting - "Wheat Field With Crows" (1890).

I thought it would be a good time to post it since (as Alicia informed me) Van Gogh's birthday was just a few days ago, on 30 March. You can see a photo of the original painting in this photo (in the book on the table). This photo was taken on the first day that Richard and Ryan started on this piece. They took two days to finish it.


I have received some curious comments on our art sessions at home and on what we use, so here's the reveal. Richard and Ryan experiment with all mediums - oils, crayons, pastels, watercolours, poster colours, acrylic, do-a-dot, stampers, finger paints, etc. We concentrate on just painting, so that the work becomes an outlet for expression of thought and feeling. We focus less on sensory/texture play (like in Ryan's days in Julia Gabriel when art and craft time was more for building fine motor skills and for sensory play). So, for instance, during these sessions, we don't ask Ryan to paint a paper plate so that it looks like a cat, or anything like that. He freely paints/draws what he wants, while learning how to use the different mediums. Of course we adopt a different approach for crafts and making specific things, like when making a paper plate face, the eyes should (ideally) be in a particular spot or the chinese lantern has to stand up in a certain way, but for our art sessions, it's pretty much painting and just painting.

Some people find it unusual that we have set aside so much time and effort for our art sessions. We ourselves don't find it unusual, really. Richard and I love art and have a deep appreciation for it. More importantly, it is pretty amazing to see the little ones creating art - it is a natural expression of their thoughts and feelings, and it seems, to us, to be a waste to ignore it and not to nurture it. It's something that's almost magical. Of course, we do it only if Ryan wants to, nothing is forced upon him.

I wanted to say something further about our outlook on art, which is that we participate in it without caring whether it is "practical" or "useful". In our home, art is freely given, freely appreciated and freely created, without thought or worry about what gains are made from it. That's what keeps it stress-free and enjoyable, which help to cultivate Ryan's interest in it. Art is valuable on its own. It's what makes us human, it's what separates us from machines and animals. Your child does not need to be Picasso but remember that, if your young child does not seem keen on art, this is sometimes a sign of an underlying developmental problem.

I do feel quite sad when I hear about children who don't have the chance to develop their interest in art. Sometimes parents, especially in Singapore, get so caught up in what they think are more practical uses of their time, and art gets relegated to the bottom of the list. In my view, that's a very short-sighted and shallow outlook and it's such a deprivation to the child. If our little ones must only do what is practical and useful for their future, then their childhood is no different from their adulthood. Put another way, if they don't get the chance to enjoy art now, then when? Never?

If love and appreciation can only be given in exchange for reward and benefit, then let me point out, for the benefit of the more practical-minded, that art is also seen as an elite hobby, as in, people who know how to appreciate and collect art tend to be rich and successful, and I'm sure all those practical parents dream of their children becoming rich and successful. While these art collectors may not have gotten rich and successful because of direct endeavours in art, I'll bet that their appreciation for art played a part in getting them to where they are because an appreciation for art permeates one's outlook and attitude in life, affects career, relationships and goals. It makes a better-rounded individual and certainly one with more interesting conversation to offer. After all, would you rather be stuck with a person on a golf course with nothing better to talk about other than the weather or someone who can tell you about the beauty in the things and places he has seen and been to? Would you prefer to work with someone who is oh-so-practical who sticks to the tried-and-tested, or someone who is creative and who can come up with new and fresh ideas and solutions?

In my view, those parents who need a practical reason before they will think about letting art into their children's lives are themselves unappreciative of art in the first place and have a misguided impression that art has no practical benefit. In actual fact, art has plenty of practical benefits for young children, which is why art is always part and parcel of any good pre-school programme. For the sake of this post, I did a search on the internet on why art is important for children - goodness, there were so many reasons and benefits! I got this list from here:

1. Art stimulates both sides of the brain.
2. 33% of children are visual learners.
3. There are studies that show that children who make art, read better and get better grades in science and mathematics.
4. Children learn by using their senses and art is ideal in this process.
5. Children need a place to express themselves (whether at school or at home)
6. Art promotes self-esteem
7. Art encourages children to give more attention to the physical space that surrounds them.
8. Art develops hand-eye coordination.
9. Art stimulates perception.
10. Art teaches children to think openly. It represents a culture of questioners more than a culture of responders.
11. Art teaches that there is more than one solution for a problem.
12. Art teaches children to think creatively to solve problems.
13. Children can share and reflect on their work of art and learn something about the world they live in.
14. When art is integrated with the other subjects in the curriculum, children commit more to the learning process.
15. In the process of doing art, the child is exposed to different possibilities, to discover and to be free.
16. Art nourishes the human soul. One feels good doing it.
17. Art brings the cultural resources of the community into the class (or into the home).
18. Art involves parents and tutors in the school, inviting them to participate as volunteers in diverse activities.
19. Art provides a common ground across racial stereotypes, barriers and prejudices.
20. Art is valuable all by itself.

And from here:

"Art classrooms teach children many skills which traditional classroom settings do not. Children learn how to tap into their creative side to make something without judging the outcome before it happens. They learn coordination and motor skills, making their hands reproduce either what their eyes see or their mind envisions. They learn the satisfaction of completing a job in a satisfying way, as well as taking the initiative to finish that project. This is a huge benefit in today's world, the work ethic that many people lack.

Children will also learn the important skills of learning to critique projects. They can analyze something they are presented with and through that, they will learn how to look at the good and bad aspects of any work. This teaches children the important skills of analysis which will come into play for the rest of their lives. Art can bring all of these skills to children and these are important cognitive skills for success in one's entire life."

Okay, hope that provides some food for thought!

Free play with blocks.


Playing with beads (fine motor skills).

More play with beads - here he is rolling the beads around the cardboard lid, taking pleasure in the sounds generated.

Finger printing.

Painting with pastels.

Swimming class.

Building train tracks.

I haven't shared a craft post for a while, so here's one - I made some texture boards!

Each board is about the size of a CD case. Richard cut all the styrofoam boards for me. I happily rummaged in my craft cupboard and went around the house collecting stuff to mount onto each board. Ryan can touch the item on each board, explore and compare textures, and learn new stuff!

From left to right in the photo above:



The photos above were taken before I made some changes. The first two from the last row (puffy glitter glue, large hanging sequins) didn't work well. Once dried, the puffy glitter glue slid off the styrofoam. The large hanging sequins started falling off. So I ditched those two boards and added these three: aluminium foil, metal brads and a piece of wood.




Ryan is happy learning about the items and how they feel to the touch. There are lots of new words for him to learn too - rough, smooth, soft, hard, crinkly, metal, fabric, plastic, stretchy, rubbery, etc. He also learns the names for the various items - aluminium foil, metal brads, twine, cork, mesh, suede, velcro, sandpaper, etc.

I did some web surfing and found some similar boards where the children place a piece of paper on top of the boards and shade a pencil over the item so that a pattern forms on the paper. That's a great idea, but we're not taking that step yet.


Ok, that's all. Happy weekend!

So, as mentioned in yesterday's post, we took Ryan to both a trial art class and a violin observation class on Saturday.

I've detailed what happened at the art class in yesterday's post. Let me leave that part of it aside and tell you what we think about the "art" part of  the art class.

Studio Haroobee is pretty well-known among parents of art-inclined children. Some of their students are prize-winners, most notably Gelyn Ong - the little girl who, at seven years old, held her first solo exhibition of 29 works, with all proceeds (close to S$100,000) going to the Make a Wish Foundation. Check her (and her works) out on the internet - I guarantee you will be amazed. Of course, the staff are quick to tell you that not every student will turn out like her, which is fair.

Unfortunately for us, and as you may have read yesterday, we got a crap instructor for Ryan's trial class. Looking back, although I was sorry that Ryan had to endure that torturous hour with her, something good did come out of it. It made us realise that the most important thing is to find an instructor/mentor who is able to work well with Ryan, to put him at ease and draw out his creativity.  We do recognise the importance of technical ability but the instructor/mentor has to be able to impart that technical knowledge without making the session stressful and pressurising, otherwise Ryan will see it as a chore and get turned off. Technical expertise should not be gained at the expense of killing Ryan's love for art. That's the last thing we want to happen.

We realised that, it really does not matter where Ryan learns art. At an expensive studio in the heart of town, at a neighbourhood arts centre, at your community centre, at home, it makes no difference at his age and level. All Ryan needs is a mentor that clicks with him and who will encourage his love for art. We already know someone who's perfect for that job. Yup, you guessed it - Richard.

So, Richard came up with some ideas for Ryan's artistic journey. That's another good thing that came out of the trial class - we managed to get some inspiration for our home sessions. I'm looking forward to seeing what the two of them get up to!

Ok, so let's talk about the violin observation class. This was at Mac's Music School. It was a group violin class for children between 3 to 4 years old, using the Suzuki method. We were invited to observe the class for free, as in, Ryan would not have to play the violin at all and we could simply sit in the class and watch. As it was Suzuki method, the children were all accompanied by their parents and each parent brought a violin for herself/himself too.

From the get-go, it was a world of difference from the art class. The instructor was excellent with children, smiling and happy. He quickly established a rapport with Ryan and when he asked Ryan his name, Ryan cheerfully told him. I knew that Ryan would have a great time.

Ryan is not completely new to the violin in the sense that he has frequently seen the instrument being played. Ryan's nanny's daughter plays the violin. There are also a few violin schools near her place and Ryan's nanny mentioned that, sometimes on their walk-abouts, they stop by and watch the TV screens at these schools showing violin performances. Ryan's cousins also play the violin, although he only meets up with them once in every few months.

I took these two shots on my phone when the children played their violins together, with the instructor accompanying them on the piano. Most of the time however, he was talking to them one-on-one, getting them to play their violins individually while he checked their posture and technique.

We had an interesting Saturday, or rather, Ryan did. We took him to a trial art class and a violin observation class and they were completely opposite experiences for him. I'll tell you about what we think about both classes in the next post. In this post, I want to record how Ryan handled an encounter with a very difficult person in the art class. It's a very long post, so get settled in.

We signed Ryan up for a trial class at Studio Haroobee at the Esplanade and we dutifully trooped over there on Saturday morning. Richard and I weren't very enthusiastic about signing up for the programme since Ryan was doing so well with his art at home. Nevertheless, we thought it would be good to go and get an idea of how the lessons were conducted. If we agree with the approach, we could incorporate it into the art sessions that we do at home. If we disagree, well, that's fine too because then we would have considered other views, opinions and approaches, discarded the ones that don't work for us and settled on the ones that do. It would also be worthwhile to see if Ryan enjoyed the studio environment - if he did, that would be a strong reason to sign up.

Ryan was in a good mood and super excited when he got into the studio. He could see all the easels set up and all the artwork and materials lying around and he knew that he was going to paint! The smallest smock was still too large for him but Ryan was beaming with anticipation when we put it on him. He readily got up on the stool in front of the easel.

The instructor was a middle-aged woman who seemed a little surprised that Ryan was so young. Richard knelt down on his left and the instructor sat on his right, while I sat behind. Then, it sort of went downhill from there.

The instructor started by asking Ryan,"What do you know how to draw? What can you draw?" Ryan took his time to think and was slow to answer. The instructor was too impatient to wait so she filled in the silence with another question. And another. And another. After five rapid-fire questions, Ryan concluded that she was not that interested in his answer so he clammed up. He just held his hand up, as if telling her, "just give me the brush and I'll show you what I can do". There was no point talking because before he could form the answer in his mind, she had already fired the next question.

Under interrogation. Ryan's body language tells the whole story - he feels the negative vibes but tries to stay calm and get on with the task

I was pretty annoyed actually. When we signed up for the trial class, we were assured that the studio could handle children of Ryan's age but, clearly, this instructor had no clue how to connect with young children. The instructor even told Ryan, "You don't want to tell me your name, so I will have to call you 'boy boy'". She already knew his name! She insisted that he had to say it himself otherwise he was going to be 'boy boy'. I found that ridiculous! If she wanted him to warm up to her, if she wanted to make a connection with him, if she wanted to draw out the best in him, then she was certainly not going to get anywhere with her emotional blackmail. I told her to just let him draw but she said, no, he must talk to her. After a few more agonising minutes of condescending questions to Ryan (which Ryan let slide), she finally gave him a pen and a pad, and asked him to draw a circle, an oval, a sun, basically various shapes. Ryan patiently drew what she asked. He didn't whine, he didn't pull a face, he didn't complain. He just drew. Gosh, if I were him, I would have stomped off.

After that, she went back to asking him what he could draw. I sighed to myself - that door had closed long ago. She was either completely obtuse or she just wanted to harp on it and give the impression that things were going badly with Ryan being the cause. Move on, lady! Finally, she took the pen and pad away and gave him a crayon. Ryan looked at the blank sheet of paper in front of him with his hand up holding the crayon at the ready, waiting for her to stop ranting and complaining and to say something constructive instead. Finally, she said, "Can you draw a sun?" And so, Ryan drew a sun. He was very steady and calm, drawing a circle for the sun and surrounding it with sunrays, one by one.

After that, Ryan drew a cloud. The instructor said that his cloud was all wrong and she drew her version on her notepad to show him. Ryan looked at it, turned back to the easel, and carried on with his cloud. I was silently going, "Yeah!" I mean, clouds are all different, aren't they? She looked at Ryan's cloud, pronounced it to be a bird and not a cloud, and asked him to draw another bird. She proceeded to draw one on her notepad, section by section (head, body, tail, wings, beak) and told Ryan to copy her on the easel. Ryan dutifully did so, section by section. Yet, she was not pleased. She was still harping on about Ryan's quietness and kept sighing and complaining that he was not talking to her.


She asked him to draw some grass. Ryan wasn't keen on that (he must have been thinking there's no grass in the sky, madam). She sighed again, and I silently went, "Yeah!" again. I mean, first she complained that he didn't want to communicate his ideas to her, then she complained when he did communicate his ideas (by rejecting hers). Ryan should have been the one sighing, but he just waited patiently for her next instruction.

She then asked Ryan to paint the sky blue. Ryan took up the brush, dabbed it in the blue paint and started painting. She took a dry brush and started pointing it all over the sheet, saying, "paint here, don't paint here, follow my brush", swinging her brush between the areas of sky and areas of non-sky. Ryan slowly followed her brush around and was careful to avoid the non-sky areas. He successfully finished one section and the instructor paused in her ranting. I guess she couldn't come up with anything mean to say at that moment. She then told him to start on another section of sky so he did, with her swinging her brush all over the sheet again, "paint here, don't paint here, follow my brush". Ryan just tried to follow that damn brush and - you can imagine where this was going, I certainly saw it coming - there was one time that she said "don't paint here" but her brush had already travelled ahead to the taboo area when the last instruction was "paint here", and Ryan's brush had already followed along. Ryan quickly moved his brush back to the sky area. It was just one stroke of forbidden blue, but she rolled her eyes and told Richard in an exasperated tone, "I think he's just going to paint over the objects and paint the whole thing blue. Ok ok ok! Just paint everything blue and we'll paint in the objects over the blue!"


I was slowly but surely losing my cool. Ryan was drawing images, following instructions, showing his ideas, he was so well-behaved, but she made it seem as if nothing was going right and Ryan was to blame. She asked Richard whether Ryan drew any images at home and Richard told her, yes, and she sniffed, "Well, since he doesn't want to talk to me, then I won't know what he can draw." Well, lady, if I were Ryan, I wouldn't want to talk to you either!

We were about 30 minutes in and, at that point, one of the staff came in and said it would be better if we waited outside because the programme was a drop-off class. It would be a better reflection of whether Ryan could handle it if, for the trial, we waited outside. As Richard and I left, I saw Ryan's face become slightly panicked. He looked as if he was going to burst into tears.

Now, Ryan has never been to a drop-off class before so this was a real test. You know how parents always report how anxious they are to see how their child copes with separation anxiety on the first day of pre-school? This was much worse, for the simple reason that we were leaving him with The Instructor From Hell. Most children cry simply because they are separated from their parents but they are usually left with caring teachers who make an effort to put them at ease. This was not the case here - the person we were leaving him with was not going to make any effort to put him at ease. On the contrary, she could actually drive him over the edge.

And you know what? Ryan kept his chin up, held back his tears, steadied himself, focused on the task and got on with it. I don't know if it was his love of painting, his self-discipline, his social skills, his maturity or his manners, but he did not cry, he did not insist on leaving with us, he did not fuss, he did not whine or pout. I have to point out that Richard and I did not tell him how he should behave. We didn't say anything to him like: be good/don't be naughty, listen to the teacher, sit down/stay there, don't cry, do your painting, etc. We just told him we were going outside. He watched us go, but he knew he had to stay and finish the painting, and that's what he did.

From time to time, Richard and I would peek at him. We saw him painting away quietly and seriously, focused and deep in concentration. He seemed to be doing what the instructor wanted him to do - I could see her pointing here and there with her brush, and he would paint where she pointed.

Focused on the task

Dabbing his brush in the paint

Oh, my heart! I knew exactly how he must have felt. Under siege, stressed, pressured, harassed, harangued, victimised, bullied. He knew that he needed to finish his work and he loves his art, so he put up with that woman and her incessant complaining and snobbish ways. He followed her instructions, did what she wanted and, oh my goodness, he was so well-behaved and well-mannered, he didn't rebel at all.  He didn't take out his tension and stress on her, and he stayed in control of his emotions. The moment he was done with the piece and there was no reason to stay (ie. we had come to fetch him), he could let go of all that tension and all that stress and it was then, and only then, that he did. That little three year old has such a good heart and such strength of character, the word "amazing" just isn't adequate.

We rushed in to Ryan and I untied the smock, scooped him up, reassured him and praised him, and he regained his composure. He didn't complain about what he went through, he was just happy that he was done. Richard collected his art piece while I carried him out to the waiting area. Richard passed the piece to him and Ryan held onto it tightly. The instructor came out, saw Ryan in my arms, pointed to his work, and asked, "What's this?" Ryan replied, "Sun." "What's this?" "Cloud." "What's this?" "Tree." She said, "Now you talk. The whole class you don't say a word. And now you say three words."

I just wanted her to get away from Ryan. But wonders never cease - before she went back inside the class, she patted Ryan on the head and complimented him on his curls and his dimple, and told me how good-looking he was. I was completely taken aback so I just smiled weakly at her.

We left and drove into Orchard for lunch. Ryan held on to his art piece, even turning it around to show it to us whenever we looked back at him sitting in the carseat. We heaped praises and compliments on him, telling him how wonderful he had been and how beautiful his piece was. When we reached our destination and went to the restaurant, he insisted on bringing the piece along. It was so precious to him. After all, he had gone through hell for it!

I wrote an earlier post about an incident where Ryan behaved with grace under pressure, which made me immensely proud of him. Unlike that incident, what I feel now isn't pride. I can't pretend or tell myself that I deserve any credit for this (giving birth to him doesn't count). The previous incident was nothing compared to what happened at the art class on Saturday. On Saturday, Ryan took everything to a whole new level, a level which even some adults would not have been able to handle. I myself could learn a lot from this little guy. No, it's not pride that I feel. It's a sense of realising that I've being incredibly blessed (this comes with a sense of intense gratefulness). You know all those mushy quotes about children being angels sent from heaven? That's exactly how I feel right now. Like I've been blessed and entrusted with a little angel.

And with that feeling of being entrusted with a precious angel, comes the realisation of just how heavy and serious a parent's responsibility is, to NOT MESS OUR CHILDREN UP. It's not just about feeding them, clothing them, sending them to school and teaching them to read. That's the easy part. There's a helluva lot more and the "lot more" part of it is a helluva lot harder than we think. How do you make sure that you don't mess up your angel?

This is the piece that Ryan painted. It is going to hang in our home as a trophy which Ryan fully deserves, plus as a reminder of the beautiful people we can be if we only set our minds to it.

The paintings in the rest of the photos are completely Ryan's work, as in, Richard didn't contribute a stroke. I don't know what they are supposed to depict (if anything), perhaps next time I should get Richard to explain them all to me. I do know that Ryan selected the combinations of colours by himself, so it's interesting to see how his sense of aesthetics is developing.

One thing that did impress me is that Ryan appears to have an intuitive understanding of composition - the elements of each piece are placed in such a way that there is balance, and the elements relate to each other such that they unify as a whole. The pieces also give a sense of "completion", ie. you don't get the feeling that something should be added (or subtracted). I'm guessing that most children have this intuitive judgment - as Picasso said, every child is an artist. (The full quote is "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up".)

On Saturday, we had a meet up with Shann and Alicia and their respective families for a belated Valentine's Day children's celebration.

We were in charge of snacks so, after we dragged ourselves out of bed, it was off to the market!

Breakfast was noodles from this Teochew Noodle stall in Marine Parade. There's always a long queue, it took us 30 minutes to get our food that day.


Back home, we lazed about for a bit before I started preparing the snacks at about 2pm. Each child got two mini hotdogs (no oil), roasted heart-shaped potatoes and hard boiled heart-shaped quail eggs, a cherry tomato and mini marshmallows.


Cute eh? The idea is not mine - I got it from the internet. It's definitely an idea that we will be recycling from time to time.

Shann and Ern baked cookies for the children, and Ryan wasted no time in digging in. He had three in quick succession!



The outing was fantastic! The weather was really kind - no sun, no rain, hardly felt any humidity, just perfect. Chris found us a private spot (I think we'll always camp there from now on).



The children were amazing together, they warmed up almost instantly, stuck together and played so well together. It was heartwarming to watch. Here are some shots from Richard's iPhone.

Ryan giving Brayden a hug. This started out as a group hug. Ern was the first to let go (no longer in the picture) and Ryan was the last.

Shann had a friend come by to snap some photos of the families. Here's a sneak preview of her work - I lifted this off her facebook this morning. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of the shots!


We had 7.30 pm dinner reservations at House at Dempsey, so we left about 7.15 pm. On the way out, we came across this lovely dog. He was huge and breathtakingly beautiful. The children couldn't get enough of him and his owner was more than happy to let them give him some love, even inviting them to sit on him like a horse (we didn't!).


Dinner was great, although not so much because of the food, which was a little patchy - as in not all, although most, of the dishes were good.  The star dish was the truffles fries - we had three servings! Other than that, everything was fantastic, especially the ambience. The place was fully booked but we were in a semi-private corner right at the end of the restaurant, which was perfect for us.

Alicia and Shann prepared pre-dinner activities for the children so the children were well occupied while waiting for their food.

Alicia printed some blank faces and the children had fun pasting the facial features (and spectacles) on. These are Ryan's creations.


Shann made some paper animals for the children to paste heart-shaped features on. These are Ryan's - an owl, a raccoon and a dinosaur. Fun!