Friday, December 7, 2012

Breathe

I was out for lunch today at MBFC and there was a lady singing jazzy Christmas songs in the underground mall, accompanied by two musicians. I was some distance away but I could hear and see them well enough. The shoppers were walking past the trio, occupied with their own conversations, but I was alone so I stopped and watched and listened for a while. It was lovely and I was transported to my happy place.

It was then that I realised that it had been a very long time since I had a moment of quiet. Not quiet as opposed to loud. I mean quiet as opposed to busy. Quiet in the sense that my mind wasn't thinking of the task I had before me nor the tasks that lay ahead of me. I wasn't planning, dreaming, analysing or ticking off the things I needed to do. I wasn't thinking at all. My brain powered down completely and I just stood there, oblivious to everyone else, the soothing Christmas melodies flooding and taking over.

Yes, I came away with inspiration for another project, but the point is that, for those brief minutes, I was breathing. It seemed almost alien to me, as if I hadn't been breathing for a long time.

Looking back now, I realise that the last few weeks have been pretty intense. I feel the way a student feels after a big exam or the way a runner feels after finishing a marathon. You don't think about it while undergoing the experience but once it's over, you realise that you've been surviving on adrenaline. No time to breathe.

Richard has had lots to deal with at the office and I've had my share of stuff. Plus I've been sick (I still am). It's been hard for me to kick the illness because my nights have not been completely restful - co-sleeping with two children and latching both of them while struggling to recover from my own illness is not a restful affair.

As for the daytime, well, if you know anything about us, you'd know that we never stand still. Apart from the usual stuff which we get up to, there have been additional things which we have been busy with. There's been a wedding in the family, a junior college reunion with old friends, a meetup with new friends, playdates and birthday celebrations with good friends, Christmas celebrations with schoolmates, various work appointments for Ryan (castings, fittings), short work trips for Richard, course assignments for me ... it's been a whirlwind of activity.

And now December is here!

I've prepared some Christmas gifts but, you know, as long as you don't get them all, you don't get to go past Go. With the remaining weekends to Christmas fast filling up with appointments, I'm starting to worry a little. I need to do some serious scheduling to make sure I fit everything in.

This coming weekend is chockful of appointments and we have a to-do list that is as long as my arm. The house needs a good spring cleaning and tidying up before Santa comes. We bought some new cupboards for Ryan's room and we've moved his little bed (which he never uses anyway) upstairs. The plan is for his room to be a dedicated playroom. However, I just have not had the chance to sort through his stuff and plan what goes where. I need a window when Ryan is not with me, and that is very rare.

We do have a small open window at the end of the year, a few days of nothing. When we have a stretch like that, we usually try to get away so that we can forget about all the to-do's and the must-do's, spend some quality time together as a family and, well, just breathe. Richard suggested that we drive back to Malaysia but we'll have to see whether Ryan's schedule is good for that or not. Yes, now we have to take into account his work commitments too. In fact, Ryan has a shoot on Monday and has been shortlisted for another shoot later this month. Exciting!

In other news, Nestlé is running the advertisement that Ryan did for them on Youtube! As in, it's one of those advertisements that come on when you click on videos that have advertising. Richard's niece, Jerica, was on Youtube the other day and saw it.


Ok, signing off for the weekend, folks. Have a good one and remember ... Breathe!

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