The Bub in the Belly

At home, Rachel has been busy investigating, exploring and playing with/irritating her brother. I try to offer her sensory experiences and open-ended materials to play with, like the cardboard box (above) and the kinetic sand (below). Her small motor skills are excellent - she can feed herself with a spoon and she can even hold a pen correctly.

She loves holding her brother's hand and leading him on walks. It always puts her in a good mood (although Ryan is not always receptive!) and it is a cute sight to see the two of them hand-in-hand walking about.

We brought Rachel to see Dr Ngiam on Tuesday for her jab and 15-month wellness check. She was a little sleepy so I was expecting her to fuss but she took the jab without issue.

Babydoll is 9.06 kg, which is right on track. Her birthweight was 2.98 kg and the guide is to have it tripled at 12 months. From then, a good weight gain is 2 kg a year. We didn't measure her height.


We asked about food and Dr Ngiam said she should be on three meals a day of soft solids. That's pretty much what she has at the moment, so all well and good.

We asked about some marks on her legs and Dr Ngiam said that they were from mosquito bites. He said that's how their skin reacts at this stage and the reaction will become less severe as the skin "learns". The marks will stay for quite a while but will eventually disappear. There has been quite a lot of construction around her nanny's place recently hence the mosquito bites.


Nothing much else. It was a quick consultation - the best kind.

For today, an update on Rachel. Rachel had a jab and checkup on Tuesday at Dr Ngiam's clinic, one week before her 1st birthday. All is well. She can say a few words and is starting to walk, and Dr Ngiam said that is fast. She is 8.39 kg and 74 cm tall. We didn't have any questions so the visit was very short.


For her meals, apart from latching, I am feeding her baby yoghurt every morning. Her nanny feeds her porridge with meat and veggies, as well as my expressed breastmilk from a bottle. In the evening, she takes dinner with us. I usually prepare some grains with either fruit or veggie (in the form of cereal) plus we give her lots of finger food, which ranges from fruit to veggies to meat to biscuits to bread to french fries and nuggets, or whatever we are eating ourselves.

There aren't any hard rules in terms of how much she has to eat or what she has to eat. She sleeps better if she has had enough to eat, so if she takes less than her usual portions, we know that she is going to want another meal or snack before she goes to bed for the night. This means, for example, if she's had a tiring day and falls asleep at 8 plus without having had her dinner, we won't wake her up. We will expect her to wake up around 10 or so to eat before really settling in for the night, so we will wait for that. This sort of thing doesn't happen very often. Still, in general, we do try to be flexible and just go with the flow.


We have been making some plans for Rachel's birthday. Richard's sisters, Margaret and Mary, have been doing all the real work - booking the venue and ordering the cake - we are really thankful to have their help. We are having a dinner at a Chinese restaurant in Malaysia, with family and a couple of close friends, just as we did for Ryan. That will be this Saturday, which means more travelling for us!

This is after he finished the outside track. After this, he added some landscape features, like a tunnel and some buildings, but I didn't get a photo of that.


Ok, so this is me signing off, have a good weekend everyone!

Rachel went to see Dr Ngiam this morning for her 6-month check up and vaccinations. She is 6.83 kg and 64.5 (almost 65) cm. Head circumference is 42 cm. Next vaccinations will be when she is one year old.

Dr Ngiam said to start Rachel on solids - cereal in the mornings for a while then add on porridge for dinner and, by the time she hits seven months old, she should be on three meals a day. I mentioned to him that I hope Rachel is not going to be as picky an eater as Ryan and Dr Ngiam said that it's good to be picky and selective. He said that, in any case, the important thing to note is not how much she eats but whether she gains enough weight. He said that some people eat a lot but don't grow much whereas some people eat very little but still grow well - it's a matter of how the body processes and utilises the food.

We brought Rachel to the PD yesterday for her routine vaccinations (two jabs and one oral). As usual, we didn't have any questions to ask, and it was over fairly quickly. It was a casual consultation - the main purpose was to do the vaccinations. We did get her weight - 6.65 kg - but not her length/height. Dr Ngiam also told us that we can start her on solids in about a month's time.

I'm not sure how long I want to continue with breastfeeding. With Ryan, the issue never really came up because I knew I was going to breastfeed Rachel anyway. Now, if we stop at two, then I will have to make a (hard) decision as to when to stop breastfeeding. Ah well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. It won't be for some time yet.


At the moment, I'm latching both of them, sometimes simultaneously, although Ryan only at night and when he wakes up in the morning. I have to say that I don't like tandem nursing and I try not to if I can. In all the years that I nursed Ryan at my breast and now Rachel, I have always found our sessions a time to cherish and a time for cherishing my children. I have never felt like a "cow" or a milk bottle. However, when I tandem nurse, I feel exactly like a "cow". I can't move; I just sit there and focus on making sure that the two of them are comfortable, that they are not getting in each other's way, and able to access the breast comfortably to achieve a good latch. There is not a lot of focus on bonding. To me, it feels purely functional and I don't like it.

In other more uplifting news, Rachel has been crawling with her bottom off the floor! She has been at it for a couple of weeks now. A step up from leopard crawling!

I am so happy that it is Friday. I've had a lot on my mind this week and, while I'll still be carrying my thoughts around for a while more, I'm glad that I can put them aside for the weekend at least. We have plans for the weekend that involve a lot of good quality family time and I'm looking forward to that.

Rachel had her 3-month check-up on Tuesday. She is slightly more than 3.5 months old now. Got her vaccinations done and ticked off her milestones. She is 5.99 kg and 60 cm. The guideline is for her to double her birthweight at 4 months. She was 2.98 kg at birth, so she's doing fine.

She did have a period of about two weeks where she wasn't drinking her milk during the day at her nanny's - that was the first two weeks that she was there. She would start fussing when she saw her nanny walking towards her with the bottle, even before the bottle reached her mouth. The funny thing was that she was completely content to sleep and play throughout the day and didn't fuss at all. She only fussed when her nanny approached with the bottle! She simply did not want to drink her milk. When I brought her home at the end of the day, she latched on as normal and drank as normal. She didn't seem excessively hungry.

We explored a few possibilities, eg. bottle rejection, type of bottle, unfamiliar environment, etc. but we weren't very concerned and trusted that things would work out in time and, after two weeks, she started drinking normally. Coincidentally, the day that she started drinking normally was the first day we changed her bottle (from NUK to MAM) so it would appear that it was because of the bottle. Still, I had my suspicions that it was not due to the bottle at all. I remembered that, there was one occasion during my maternity leave when we left her with the nanny for half a day (Ryan had a photoshoot) and she drank from the NUK bottle without any issue.

True enough, when I asked Dr Ngiam about it, he said that babies naturally know when to slow down (and the parents shouldn't push them to drink more). Despite not drinking during the day for nearly two weeks (not counting the weekends), her weight is perfectly fine now. In fact, she is still a little ahead of where she needs to be. Basically, she slowed down to the point where she needed to be, and then started drinking normally. In other words, my little 3-month old was dieting!

Anyway, all's well that ends well. Rachel is doing fine now at her nanny's and her nanny has already fallen in love with her. When I go to fetch Rachel home in the evenings, Rachel is always wearing a new outfit and her nanny is constantly singing praises about how easy Rachel is to look after.

Ok, happy weekend, everyone! See you back here next week!

We brought Ryan to see his paediatrician yesterday morning for his Hepatitis A booster. This concludes all of Ryan's vaccinations up till the age of 6 years old. He took the jab in his arm, and he was all smiles. Darling boy.

We had a short chat with Dr Ngiam as usual before the jab and here's a run down of what we discussed.

We talked about Ryan's growth - he is 11.1 kg and 87 cm tall. We were wondering if he was too small but Dr Ngiam said he's fine for his age. He said that, from now on, Ryan should put on 2 kg every year.

We mentioned that Ryan is still taking a lot of milk. Dr Ngiam advised us to reduce this and increase his solids and make sure that he is eating three meals a day. At Ryan's age, milk (whether breastmilk or formula), should be regarded as only a supplement or a beverage, like say coffee or tea. He explained that, as there is only so much that the child's tummy can hold, we have to maximise the nutrition in that small space. While there is nutrition in milk, it is still mostly water. He said that, in terms of nutritional value, one bowl of porridge is equivalent to five bottles of milk (whether breastmilk or formula) and Ryan certainly can't hold five bottles of milk in his tummy. He told us not to let Ryan fill up, or even half-fill, his tummy with milk because then Ryan will lose out on the chance to take in nutrition-packed solids.


I did say that we are gradually cutting down on the milk (more on that in a separate post) but Dr Ngiam said that we should do it fairly quickly and not drag it out. He also said we should definitely cut out the night feeds as this may lead to tooth decay as traces of milk stay in the mouth the whole night. Dr Ngiam suggested preparing solids that are more on the crunchy side, which Ryan can hold and bite into, like nuggets, pan-fried fish, wedges, and of course rice and noodles. No more mushy food - he described it as "pig's food" - hahaha!

Actually we have never prepared mushy food for Ryan and we have never bought jars of pureed or blended baby food. Initially, when we ate out, especially in Chinese restaurants, we did cut up the veggies and the meat for him in bite-sized portions but he refused to eat them like that, so we stopped bothering. After all, he is capable of eating and swallowing, he just wants to know what it is that he is eating so destroying it into little pieces isn't going to help him identify it. I have seen parents who cut the veggies and the meat smaller and smaller every time the child refuses to eat and I always wonder why they do that - does the child not know how to chew/swallow, does cutting the food up make it taste better? (Actually, Richard and I are horrified whenever we see a parent fish out a pair of scissors to cut food at the dining table - I have never seen a pair of scissors make an appearance at the dining table anywhere else in the world - why can't they use the eating utensils? What in the world are they teaching their children? But that's another story.)


I should clarify that we think that Ryan's speech development is fine and we are not worried about it. It's just nice to get the "ok" from a professional.

Dr Ngiam again reminded me that we should not be concerned about socialisation at this stage and, in any case, there are lots of things to learn in a home environment, including socialising with people. If Ryan is lucky enough to be able to be in a loving home environment, then we should not deprive him of that precious time and opportunity. That made a lot of sense to me. It also reminded me of what I'd read and researched - that, historically, the very purpose of early childcare was to get children AWAY from the influence of their feckless parents. Not to be presumptuous but I think Richard and I are quite safe for Ryan to be around.

I suppose Dr Ngiam's point is that, at this age, there is so much in the child's world that is new and exciting and whatever is not there is not necessary at this point in time. There is no need for the child to receive extra "stimulation", which is what many parents worry about, and there are more important things in a home environment which your child should be exposed to. So, unless there is nobody to take care of your child, there is no need to send him/her to pre-school.



So we will stick to Dr Ngiam's advice to wait till Ryan is at least four years old before considering enrolling him in pre-school. The more we think about it, the more we talk it through logically, the more it makes sense and we are happy with our present arrangement. It is perfect for our circumstances and for Ryan's needs, plus it fits in with how we want to raise our children.


[All photos taken at Casa Verde on 19 June 2011.]

Hello dearies. I have been falling behind on my posts and I do have quite a bit to update. It's been sort of a struggling week for me - I've had a few family issues to sort out, which has been very draining on me mentally. I'm looking forward to life getting back to normal next week.

Anyway, some updates on our adventures.

On Friday morning, I brought Ryan and my mum to NAFA Arts Kindergarten for a tour. Looks good. I'll do a separate post on our visit.

In the afternoon, I brought Ryan to the paediatrician to get his vaccinations up to date. His regular paediatrician, Dr Ngiam, was on leave so we consulted Dr William Yip instead, at the same clinic. Dr Yip has attended to Ryan a few times before (including when Ryan was born), so we are quite familiar with him.

As usual Ryan took both his jabs well, with no fussing or crying. Dr Yip was amazed and said that he was so brave. Dr Yip also did a wellness check for Ryan and certified his development as normal. Ryan is 10.6 kg and 83 cm. (There was no post-jab fever.)

I took the opportunity to ask Dr Yip about weaning Ryan off breast milk. I also mentioned that Ryan isn't always keen on his solids. Dr Yip said that it's fine if Ryan prefers breast milk as breast milk has plenty of nutrients and calories (Dr Yip was very impressed (shocked, even) that we were still breastfeeding!). He said that, if I do wean Ryan off the breast, the real substitute for breast milk is solid food, not formula or milk, and he said that it's perfectly fine if I choose not to give Ryan formula or milk. His point is that there is no rule that Ryan's nutrition must be delivered through formula or milk, and formula/milk is just another form of food. Of course, if I do want to provide a milk substitute, he said there are a variety to choose from - soy milk, cow's milk, etc. So Dr Yip basically gave me the same advice as Dr Ngiam did.

For dinner that evening, we went to the buffet at AquaMarine, Marina Mandarin Hotel. Wrapped up the day with a movie on DVD.

The next day, Saturday, we had a simple lunch at Beach Road Prawn Noodle, at East Coast Road.

Enjoying the jumbo prawn noodle, while Richard is having the pork ribs noodle.

Don't be misled by the photo - Ryan isn't able to handle the chopsticks yet. Nevertheless he always wants a pair for himself and we do let him hold them and do what he likes with them. He does know that they must always stay in a pair and he is always very careful to keep them that way.

In the afternoon, there was PlayClub and this week was Daddies' Week. As usual, we were asked to come in similar father-and-son outfits. We brought out the shirts that Richard and Ryan wore for Daddies' Week two terms ago. Looks like Ryan can still fit into his, although the label states that it's for 12 months.

There was a birthday celebration in class today so there was cake for everyone.


Outdoor activity was sandplay. I get the feeling that this is not one of Ryan's favourite outdoor activities (or maybe that's me), so I'm glad that he gives it a go anyway.



While Ryan's class was finishing up their sand play to go into the classroom for music, the other PlayClub class came outdoors for swimming. The Mandarin teachers in the other PlayClub (Ryan's ex-teachers) called out to Ryan and tried to lure him to the swimming pool. It was very amusing because Ryan's Mandarin teacher then tried to entice him to go back inside for music, so they were literally fighting over him! Of course, the swimming won in the end. Ryan walked over to the pool area (Ryan's ex-teacher was delighted to open the gate for him and take his hand) and he even tried to climb into the pool! Haha!

In the evening before dinner, we hung out at Parkway Parade for a little while. Ryan got into this coin-operated ride (a hot dog truck) and discovered for the first time ever, that it actually moves! There were some children in the front of the truck and their parents put a coin into the ride while Ryan climbed into the back. He was quite intrigued when it started moving and he sat quietly at the back for the entire ride. After that, we felt obliged to put in a coin (to contribute our share) so Ryan got to go again!


I think he thought that the child in front was really "driving" the truck - when the ride ended, and the "driver" got off, he got up and walked to the front and called for another driver, and when another child boarded the truck, he quickly sat back down at the back! Hahaha!

Ryan fell asleep on the way home, which was about 7.30 pm. Amazingly, he slept until 9.30 am the following morning! He must have been completely wiped out. While he slept, Richard, my mum and I had a barbeque dinner on our upstairs terrace.




Will post our Sunday update next!

We brought Ryan to his paediatrician yesterday for a booster jab and a wellness check. We had a long wait but it was worth it in the end.

Ryan hasn't put on any weight or grown any taller since his last visit, although he was squirming quite a bit when the measurements were taken, so they may not be accurate. He took the jab in his thigh without reaction, he didn't flinch or cry, just quietly observed what Dr Ngiam was doing. Just amazing.

Dr Ngiam asked us if we had any questions or concerns and we did raise a couple of issues. We told him that Ryan is extremely sticky nowadays, always needing to have physical contact. Dr Ngiam was pleased to hear that! He said that this shows that Ryan is a well-adjusted child. He said it's absolutely normal, Ryan is right on track and that this phase will last until Ryan is about three years old. Dr Ngiam said that Ryan has formed a strong bond with us, which is the way it should be at this stage. He also explained that there is a hierarchy of people whom Ryan has bonded with and Ryan will stick to each person according to his order. In Ryan's case, mummy is first and daddy is a close second. So if mummy is not around, Ryan will stick to daddy. It would be an issue of concern if Ryan does not show any attachment to any particular person, even in a roomful of people whom he knows, as it may mean that Ryan is having problems forming strong relationships and strong bonds. I asked Dr Ngiam if we should be concerned about letting Ryan be more independent and he said it's too early to expect Ryan to be independent.

Well, we were happy and relieved to hear that! It has given us a new perspective and has made us a lot more patient and tolerant of Ryan's stickiness, seeing that it is a sign that all is normal and going well. It has also given us encouragement that we're doing all right at this parenting thing, heehee.

Next, we asked Dr Ngiam whether we should be considering sending Ryan to school yet. Dr Ngiam said that, if Ryan is being looked after and we don't need to send him to school as a form of childcare, then we should wait until after Ryan turns four. His reason was that children below four fall sick easily. He said, at Ryan's age, the emphasis should be on spending time with the family. He also pointed out that there are lots of things to learn at home.

Actually, I'm not too concerned about Ryan falling sick (Ryan is an extremely healthy boy), my only reason for sending Ryan to pre-school is to socialise with other children. I told Dr Ngiam that Ryan seems quite shy sometimes and I asked him whether he should be socialising with other children. Dr Ngiam said that the shyness is normal, socialising will come later and we shouldn't be wanting him to be a social butterfly now.

That was wonderful news to us because, just last week, Richard and I were discussing whether we should wait until Ryan is older before sending him to pre-school. Ryan is turning two very soon and we haven't come close to choosing a pre-school for him. We were getting a bit worried because most of Ryan's peers have already got places in pre-schools. Some are even starting next week!

In Singapore, most children go to pre-nursery in the year that they turn two years old. After one year, they do two years of nursery before advancing to kindergarten for another two years, before finally starting primary school. All this is completely voluntary as pre-primary education is not compulsory. Still, it is a pretty well-established system, which most parents adopt.

When we first learned about the Singapore system, and all the frightening waiting lists, we took action pretty quickly. I did some research and we visited a few pre-schools to check them out. But for us, the fever died down just as quickly as it started as we were not persuaded by any of the pre-schools that they offered anything that we couldn't do without. Some had better facilities, some had bigger playgrounds, some had better curriculum than others. We could picture Ryan being happy at one or two of them, but Ryan is also perfectly happy being at home. Basically, at each visit, we were waiting for the feeling that Ryan would lose out if he wasn't a student there, but that feeling never came.

So there is a huge chunk of motivation missing, which is also due to the fact that neither Richard nor I went to pre-nursery or nursery. I only did two years of kindergarten and Richard says he thinks he did one year of kindergarten (he can't remember much about it). Did we lose out? Well, I could read and play the piano even before I entered kindergarten and Richard says he can't remember learning anything in kindergarten. Both our mothers were housewives, which is similar to Ryan's setup - his nanny is also a housewife and when he is not with his nanny, he is with us all the time. When Ryan is at his nanny's and when he is at home, he is always involved in what is going on. He is free to wander about and investigate anything he wants (under supervision of course) and there is always someone talking to him, engaging him and playing with him.

Every time we discussed the issue of sending Ryan off to pre-school, we delayed it a little more. When Ryan was about to turn 18 months, Schoolhouse by the Bay called us up (a follow up from our visit) and asked if we were still interested in enrolling Ryan. We told them we wanted to keep him at home a while more. We told ourselves, let's wait till Ryan is two. Last month, we happened to visit Etonhouse, and we thought about the topic again - we decided to wait till Ryan was 2.5 years old. Last week, we said, let's wait till he's three.

We definitely felt the pressure to follow what other parents were doing but somehow, deep down, we must have known it was not the right decision for us, which is probably why we made no progress on the issue. We were just not brave enough to make a decision once and for all.

So, I'm happy to say that we have decided to hold off pre-school and wait till Ryan is four years old before we consider the issue again. Then, we will see if we want to wait until he is five, in which case he will go straight into kindergarten, just as Richard and I did. In the meantime, we will make sure that Ryan's time at home is spent productively and fruitfully, with lots of play, cuddles and kisses along the way.

Now that finally sounds perfect to me.

Two weekends ago, we met up with some friends (Kenny, Belinda, Matthias and Chris, Alicia and Brayden) at E!Hub at Downtown East for some fun at eXplorer kid's indoor children's playground followed by lunch. Ryan was especially interested in the ball pits and the Mega Play at the indoor playground. The Mega Play is a large 3-level obstacle course - Ryan slid down the tubes, climbed up the nets and crawled through the tunnels and Richard and I took turns to slide, climb and crawl along with him. It was quite tiring for the adults because we had to crouch down and kneel/squat to fit in the spaces, but it was fun. Here are some iphone photos of Richard and Ryan in the ball pit with the changing lights. I didn't manage to take photos while we were in the Mega Play, it's tough enough keeping up with the children in there!