Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Words for Ryan from mummy

My darling son,

Throughout the months you saw my belly change, you simply smiled softly. You said nothing, you just embraced my growing shape as you slept every night in my arms. The very fact that you did not want or need to discuss it told me that you already knew, even better than I, that what lay in the future was beyond words, that it was something so life-changing that all that mattered for the moment was to savour our life as we knew it.

You have always been wiser than I.

I have faith that you will know how best to deal with all the changes that having a sibling entails. I also have no doubt that you will be showing your father and me a thing or two about having another child. Nevertheless, if there is one thought that we want to share with you, it is this:

With your sibling, you will share many things - both good times and bad, happy and sad. What your father and I hope to show you is that sharing is nothing to be feared. It simply means that there is so much more than there was before. The "extra" may not be more of the same. Instead, more often than not, the "extra" will bring fresh and better experiences, richer emotions, and more colourful memories that you will come to hold dear. And when you are burdened with sorrow, sharing will lighten that heaviness.

One thing which you will never have to share is the love that your father and I have for you. That love is yours and yours alone. We loved you even before you lived in my body, when you were a fantasy, a daydream, a figment of our imagination. And since you were born, we've loved you more every single day, more than we thought was possible.

When you lived inside me, I sat with you quietly, snug in my belly. I told you stories of the past, the present and the future. You listened to my lullabies and my whispers of love, and I listened to your heart, beating deep in my womb. We were one then and we are still one, my darling. We sleep now always with your head on my chest, my arm wrapped around you, your hand on my heart, our hearts beating in time, our chests rising and falling together, our breaths mingling. When we are awake, we are always close, and if I am not carrying you in my arms, I am holding you in my heart. I will carry you in every fibre of my being for the rest of my life.

As for your father, he loves you with a love like I have never seen. It is only the second time in his life that he has fallen in love and with your father, love means forever.

That is all we want to tell you before you start this new adventure. Always know that we love you, we love you, a thousand times we love you. We will never stop loving you and we will never love you any less. You are our neverending joy.

Your mama, for always.

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