The Peace of Wild Things
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
- Wendell Berry
This poem, by Wendell Berry, one of the greatest American nature poets of the 20th century, speaks to me deeply. The person finds himself in a situation that I find myself in often - where I have anxiety and doubt about my life, my situation, what I'm doing, even who I am. Some people right themselves by taking a walk or by reading a book or by playing a computer game. The person in the poem found his solace and peace by seeking out nature and by being among the 'wild things'. The poet is telling us that there is a balance between man and nature and when that balance is upset, we need to stop and examine our actions.
This moved me deeply because it expresses fundamental truths. Firstly, it is when we discard the complications of our life and live in the moment that our inner compass points to its true north and we find peace.
Secondly, there is a natural balance between man and nature. We should not be living selfishly, as though we are not part of the natural order of things. Perhaps Agent Smith said it best when he said to Neo (in the movie "The Matrix"),
"I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure."
We need to realise, properly realise, that our actions have consequences and that we are morally obligated to live responsibly and ethically during our time here. It's not a hobby, it's not a fantasy, it's not a romantic notion. It's our moral duty, as thinking, feeling and intelligent beings.
Blog Action Day 2009 - An amazing 13,563 blogs from 156 countries with more than 18 million readers participated to raise awareness on climate change. How amazing is that?
When I was pregnant, I kept my life simple. I ate from a limited menu, preferring to be safe rather than sorry. I did a lot less clothes-shopping, bag-shopping and shoe-shopping, preferring to wait until after I delivered because I was not sure how much my tummy would grow. I wore much less makeup. Instead of trawling the malls and trying to keep up with fashion and what's new, I spent my weekends having breakfast at the beach, walking my dog in the botanic gardens, browsing the shelves in the bookstores, indulging in galleries and exhibitions, and just staying at home.
After I delivered Ryan in January this year, I looked around and I realised I had clothes/shoes/bags/makeup/books/CDs/knick-knacks/gadgets/etc which I had never worn/used/read/listened to/appreciated/paid attention to and which I probably never would. There were three whole rooms in my house which I don't use on a day-to-day basis and they are full of stuff. I spent a lot of time just 'tidying up'. I felt weighed down, burdened. Previously, all these were belongings, assets. Now, I just saw rubbish. No doubt there was good intention behind some of the stuff - I feel wasteful throwing things away and usually keep and try to re-use stuff like boxes, plastic and glass. But there was just too much now.
I imagined the scenario where something happened to me and Ryan had to sort through all my belongings/rubbish and I felt so sorry for him. I felt terrible that my legacy was going to be a huge pile of junk.
So I made a resolution to live a simpler life. My mantra for this year is to live with less, to buy less, to spend less. No longer pregnant, I continue to spend my time having breakfast at the beach, walking my dog in the botanic gardens, browsing the shelves in the bookstores, indulging in galleries and exhibitions, and just staying at home. And I don't feel as though I'm missing out on anything. In fact, I feel lighter, less stressed, relaxed.
Today is Blog Action Day 2009. All over the world, nearly 9,000 bloggers signed up to raise awareness by writing on the same topic on their blogs today, which this year is climate change.
I'm pleased to know that my new 'less-is-more' attitude is also a step to slow down climate change. How? Well, watch this video - The Story of Stuff. This is a "20-minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of our production and consumption patterns. The Story of Stuff exposes the connections between a huge number of environmental and social issues, and calls us together to create a more sustainable and just world. It'll teach you something, it'll make you laugh, and it just may change the way you look at all the stuff in your life forever."
Richard and I love reading. We read all sorts of stuff - books, magazines, comics, graphic novels - and almost all categories and genre. When we go out to town, we usually end up in the bookstores. We are happy just to browse and happier if we find a good read to bring home.
My favourite is the novel. The last ones that I recall reading were 'We Need to Talk About Kevin' by Lionel Shriver (very disturbing but good) and 'Into the Wild' by Jon Krakauer (really really good).
It's been a long time since I had a good novel in my lap. I've been reading so much of other stuff. When I was pregnant, I put aside my novels and read up on pregnancy, childcare and bringing up children. I must have bought a small library on these topics, I devoured all that I could. Now that Ryan is here, I enjoy looking out for suitable books for him, carefully building his collection, making sure he has a good selection of the classics, the contemporary, the educational and the fun books. When I can catch a minute to myself to read something, I usually grab the newspaper or a magazine.
After one and a half years of mummy-reads and baby-reads and hurried reads, I wanted to get back to luxury reading for my own pleasure. So it was with great anticipation that I resuscitated my reading habit on our recent trip to Sydney. I chose 'The Time Traveler's Wife' by Audrey Niffenegger to do the honours and it was so worth it. I loved every beautiful word.
To celebrate my return to reading, I've placed a book widget on my sidebar to show what I'm currently reading, which is presently 'The Lovely Bones' by Alice Sebold. Also included are the books I'm reading with Ryan.
It was a freaky coincidence that I was intently studying the beautiful stampede of cardboard horses by the awe-inspiring Ann Wood when I received news that a friend of ours had fallen off a horse while on holiday in Chiangmai and had suffered some spinal damage as a result. Thankfully, there is no permanent damage but she has to wear a brace for a while.
I told Richard about it and asked, would he let Ryan try out horse riding? Richard said no. And I thought, that's good. But then I thought, is it? Surely I want to give Ryan every opportunity to broaden his world. Surely I want to let him live every experience that comes his way. Surely I should be opening doors for him, instead of keeping him sheltered. Doesn't the saying go, 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'?
But how can I send Ryan into an activity that I know is risky? How can I knowingly put him in a situation where he might get hurt? Surely the most basic role of a parent is to take care of your children and keep them safe?
Before I became a parent, I never understood why it is so hard for parents to let go of their children. I always knew that it was hard, but I didn't understand why. Now I do. It is unimaginably hard because of so many reasons and I have newfound empathy for parents who are struggling to do so. I hope and pray that, when the time comes, I will be able to strike the right balance between being concerned and being over-protective.
"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings." ~Hodding Carter, Jr.
"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most.
That people are basically good;
that honour, courage, and virtue mean everything;
that power and money, money and power mean nothing;
that good always triumphs over evil;
and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies.
You remember that, boy. You remember that.
Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things,
because those are the things worth believing in."
- Uncle Hub to his nephew Walter in the movie "Secondhand Lions"
Today we went to a preview of the program at Little Neuro Tree at POMO Centre. It is touted as "a unique tri-lingual programme using brain stimulation technologies to build knowledge, confidence and love for learning". At the end of the preview, the program specialist, Irene, approached me. I was holding Ryan in my arms and, a short while into our conversation, Ryan stretched out his arms to Irene as if to say, "Hello, here's a hug for you." Irene was very surprised. She delightedly took Ryan into her arms and Ryan gave her a good hug.
I took him back into my arms and Irene and I continued talking. Then Ryan stretched out his arms to Irene again, as if to say, "Now YOU give ME a hug, you lovely lady." Irene was astonished and happily took him on her shoulder again. Ryan then cozied up to her contentedly. Irene was so amazed. She said that this was the first time she'd seen a baby of Ryan's age do anything like this as normally, they stick to their parents.
I was surprised too as this is the first time I've seen Ryan give out hugs to strangers. No doubt, Ryan is becoming more communicative and interactive with his surroundings, so I should expect to see more of his personality and character now. Happily, I love what I'm seeing - the warmth and unconditional love he has for others. I hope we can find a way to preserve that so that he grows up to be kind, compassionate, generous, and sensitive to the needs of others.
I am a blog stalker/lurker/hopper/voyeur. It is a recent hobby of mine - trawling the internet, skipping from blog to blog to blog. There are various groups of bloggers which I visit - my friends, the parents, the crafters, the design critics, the lifestyle blogs. Virtual communities have sprung up among those with common interests and positive communal vibes leap out from the web pages. It is amazing to feel the camaraderie. It is equally amazing to read the comments left by the readers - always supportive, always interested, always encouraging.
There are some blogs which I particularly enjoy, which I return to over and over again. I brazenly poke my nose into their lives, read every report of their going-ons and examine every shred of photographic evidence that they disclose. These bloggers generously give their time, creativity and effort to share their lives with me in their beautifully laid out web pages and yet they ask nothing from me, despite the fact that I derive so much pleasure, entertainment and enrichment from their work.
I was feeling a little guilty at this imbalance so it was with great interest that I read that Nuffnang.com is presenting the first ever Asia-Pacific Blog Awards, honouring the best of the blogosphere in our region. People are invited to vote for their favourite blogs and the voting results will be announced on 23 October 2009 in Singapore. The nominated blogs and voting form are here.
I shall certainly be casting my vote. This is a great way to show my appreciation and say a small thank-you to bloggers everywhere. I was particularly pleased to see that taxidiary.blogspot.com has been nominated for Best Hidden Gem, a title which describes it perfectly.
Keep up the good work, all you bloggers!
