The Bub in the Belly

My dearest Ryan,

You are one of my dearest friend’s precious darling and I’m honoured that Leona has asked me to write a little note to you. At this very moment your mommy and daddy are getting ready to welcome your little brother or sister into the family. All of mommy’s bestest friends are waiting for this latest addition to Budakkampung. As you will find out as you grow older, Budakkampung is our little childhood group since we were young girls of age 14…and we have been going on strong for 25 years now.

Auntie Yuen Fun (that’s me!) is an only child, no brother or sister, and it was something that I struggled with when I was very young….I used to make up stories and told everyone at school how I had 8 siblings – 4 brothers and 4 sisters! That was how desperate I was! Haha…strangely, at age 7 or 8, no one questioned why I could never name all of my 8 brothers and sisters! Mostly I wanted a big brother. Just one. I didn’t know though at the time that God could only give me a younger brother and not an older one, since I already exist in this world. More on that theory when your mommy and daddy talks to you about the birds and the bees… :-)

Having a sibling is a feeling like no other. Of this I’m convinced. When I was 5, my aunt came back to live with us, and brought her little boy. I never realized until much older that God had actually answered my prayers. He was a cousin, not a brother. So we fought a lot till we were teenagers. But deep down inside, we knew we were brother and sister…there were only the two of us, and now we are adults, the bond between us is as strong as any real brother and sister. And I know he loves me very much.

And for you, Ryan, your new brother or sister, will bring you many amazing memories and shared experiences. I now have a daughter, Nicole who is 15, and a son, Ethan who is 10. The memory that really takes my breath away even now is when Nicole was 5 and Ethan was just a few months old, I was in the middle of scolding Nicole for something naughty that she did (I forget what it was), baby Ethan who didn’t even know how to walk or talk then, crawled to sit in his sister’s lap, sat up and put his baby arms wide open as if protecting his sister and gave me a look that clearly said, “You have to get through me first!”. Of course, I was too shocked to continue scolding Nicole. It was totally amazing, but neither of them remembers this. It is a bond that cannot be explained. I mean, how did Ethan at 7 months old know how to do that? To this day, it is my favourite story to tell. Nicole and Ethan are now just like me and my cousin brother, they fight a lot, but they love each other. When Nicole is sick, Ethan will make sure he pulls her blanket up around properly and tucks her in. But at the same time he gets a kick out of annoying her. So Ryan, do know that you will have plenty of laughter and tears with your baby brother or sister, but do know that other than your mommy and daddy, your brother or sister will always, always have your back.

Ryan, your mommy and daddy will love both of you very, very much. They are amazing parents, from what I have seen. There will be times when strange feelings will set in (for some children) if you feel baby is getting more attention. But that’s only because baby is baby and needs a lot more care, just like when you were a baby and you are a big boy now and can do a lot of things on your own now like bathing and eating on your own and I think you can even help mommy with taking care of baby. She will appreciate that very much. Just remember, Ryan, that mommy and daddy loves you as much as baby, but they have loved you longer. Always remember that.

We don’t see each other very often, Ryan, but I love you because I love your mommy. My wish is that you grow up to be an independent, caring, loving and responsible boy. I’m so looking forward to meet your new brother or sister.  May God always hold the both of you in the palm of His hand.

Love always, Auntie Yuen Fun.