The Bub in the Belly: Some thoughts on growing up and Sewing for Rachel

The weekend is here again! Yay yay. No matter how hectic the work week gets, we can always count on the weekend coming by, eh? What are your plans? We don't have any plans and, well, that's the way it should be sometimes. We do have some vague intentions, so we'll see.

There are lots of photos in this post, but I'm afraid they're all kind of the same. Heh heh. To "make up" for my indulgence, I've penned some thoughts on something that I've been tossing around in my head lately so do stay with me.

Yesterday, I was thinking about how grown-up the littles have become.

Look at my babydoll - not quite a baby anymore, although more and more a doll. Already she is walking around, "like a boss", they would say. Already I can see the girl emerging. Already she is getting her toenails painted - she came home yesterday with a fresh pedicure!

And my son. My little, little man. Our conversations have levelled up now. Ryan is able to express himself better now and so I have more insight into his thinking, what he goes through in school, how he feels about things and people. I'm getting to know him again - it is such a different experience compared to getting to know him from his non-verbal actions and reactions. This boy is funny, smart, and insightful, as all children his age are.

Yesterday, as we were queueing for Ryan's audition (American Idol style), Ryan was the smallest model and probably the youngest too. I realised though that, despite that, he is an experienced model. My little son - experienced? What a strange term to use for a 4 year old! Yet, it is undeniable. This boy has spent enough time on this earth to earn "experience".

Yes, I am amazed how time has flown by. I am amazed at how fast children grow. Yet, thinking about it now, I harbour no resentment at the time flown by, no wistfulness at the years past and no longing for what was before. Because I feel that I milked every drop of those fleeting moments.

Beyond changing diapers and making sure they were fed, I do feel that I fully participated in their growing up and I don't feel that I missed anything significant. It's the same feeling I have about my school days or my life pre-children - I look back fondly on those times but I don't miss them, because I lived them to the fullest, savoured every moment.

It hasn't been easy though. Some days, I go through the motions without really thinking. I drive the littles off to preschool/nanny, lost in my own thoughts, stressed about the work day ahead of me. I zone out while I wait for Ryan to finish his meal. I buy books for the littles without realising that I bought the same ones previously - oh where is my mind? Heehee. I'm getting better at living in the present, I promise (see my new year's resolution for 2011).

In many ways, writing this blog has helped me to be more aware of what's happening as it happens. As I commit myself to recording our family's memories, I am more observant of what the littles are doing, the little things that happen as they grow up and the little things that make them grown up. Because of this blog, I am more attuned and more in touch with the present, with the here and now.

Sometimes I write because I observe or experience something that I want to remember. Sometimes I observe or experience something because I've committed myself to writing something.

So I am immeasurably grateful for this blog, for all the support shown by readers, all the lovely emails and comments I receive.

And really, there is so much to enjoy in the present, isn't there? The wonderful, wonderful sensation of babydoll leaning into me and melting into me for a hug. The adorableness of her toddling away as she perfects her walking. Seeing her toss all her finger food to the dog, so happy that the dog is willing to come near her. Hearing her say "bye-ber" when I talk about changing her diaper. Feeling on top of the world when, from across the room, she sees me and calls "Mama" with the hugest grin possible, her finger pointing in the air as she walks, as fast as her little legs can go, to get to me.

And my little Ryan - ever the perfectionist. Once he was in a group of children and they all walked past a structure with a corner protected by a corner guard which had come out of place. He was rushing to me, just like the rest of the children were all rushing to their parents after class. He was not the first one to walk past the out-of-place corner guard but he was the only one who stopped in his tracks to fix it. Even the adults hadn't bothered. My little four year old: the youngest kid there, the oldest soul around.

Now he's pondering the mysteries of the world and telling me, in a very thoughtful tone, that his French fries aren't French because "French is when you go to a French shop and buy French things."

It is a lovely time to be their mama, just as any time would be (for a similar sentiment, see here).

And oh! The sewing! Babydoll is wearing a top I made for her a few weeks ago using the Geranium pattern by Rae Hoekstra. If it looks familiar, you probably saw it in this post when Rachel went to Hokey Pokey a few weeks ago.

There are several options for this pattern - I chose the flutter sleeves, the gathered waist and the round neckline. I also used snaps to close the back instead of buttons. This one is a top but I did make another one in dress length - will show that to you another time. This is a very versatile pattern and I foresee that I'll be using it again and again. In fact, babydoll is already outgrowing this top (and the dress) as the bodice is quite fitted, so I'll be upgrading her to a larger size soon.