The Bub in the Belly

Friday, October 18, 2013

Trip to KL and Updates on Rachel

Posted by Pinkie Pirate at 1:05 AM

Yup, we spent the long weekend in Malaysia with our relatives. We drove up on Saturday afternoon and drove back on Tuesday evening. Ryan spent everyday with his cousins and was completely content to be left with them while Richard and I ran our errands with babydoll. When we dropped him off and Richard tried to escort him into the house, he stopped Richard and told him, "You stay outside". Heh heh. It was actually exam week for his cousins, but they made time for us, so that was really great.

The most interesting development as regards babydoll is that she has started displaying some stranger anxiety. For sometime now, she can distinguish who are strangers and who are not and her usual reaction is to girlishly hide her face behind me when a stranger speaks to her (although not always). Recently, her reaction has been a little more pronounced. She doesn't seem "anxious" as in she doesn't whine or throw a fit when meeting a stranger. Rather, what she does is to stop in her tracks, go completely still, and slowly lower her head to look down. It's like a robot shutting down. It's very funny! The moment I call her, she will lift her head up and walk to me as if nothing had happened and as if I pressed a button to re-activate her. It's really, really funny.

She doesn't exhibit this reaction towards every stranger though, and I haven't sussed out what makes one stranger different from another. Here you can see her sitting down with a complete stranger at the bookstore. She saw this boy and, completely unprompted, sat down and pulled out a book to read. She wouldn't leave despite me asking her a couple of times to move on to the next rack.

Babydoll is, more and more, showing us that she is a quick learner. She also reminds us that our actions speak louder than our words - she learns and copies our actions so quickly. For example, after her meals, she will take a tissue and wipe her mouth. When I sit down with Ryan to do some writing, she will want to sit down and pick up a pen to scribble. She is starting to use the spoon to eat. She can flip the pages of a book like a seasoned reader. She knows where her shoes should be kept, she points to the playroom when she wants to play, she points to the fridge when she wants her yoghurt. All these actions were not deliberately taught to her by us. She just observed us going about our day-to-day activities and copied us on her own.

Here she is, insisting that she carry my handbag. This was just before she slung it on her shoulder and, when it wouldn't stay there, she carried it in the crook of her elbow with her hand up in the air. Like a pro. Looks like I have to get her a bag of her own.

In the photo above, Rachel is wearing the latest mummy-made addition to her wardrobe. I'll show you better photos of it next time. I was rather pleased that about half of the clothes that I packed for her for our trip consisted of clothes made by me. Such a great feeling to see all those clothes in her luggage.

That's all!

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Community Day and Parent-Teacher Conference at Ryan's pre-school

Posted by Pinkie Pirate at 11:15 AM

Last Friday was Community Day at Ryan's pre-school. The celebration was supposed to be a picnic on the school grounds but the rain put paid to that plan. The rain couldn't stop the festive mood though and the parties went on in the classrooms. The photos in this post were taken in Ryan's classroom during the party.

The students were encouraged to come in cultural or national dress. I knew that Ryan would have wanted to don his Chinese traditional outfit but it is a little small for him now (plus he has worn it so many times) so I pulled out his kurta instead. After three years, he now fits properly into it.

Two weeks ago, Richard and I had a meeting with Ryan's pre-school teachers for this term's Parent Teacher Conference. He has three class teachers, one of whom is a Mandarin teacher. All three expressed that they were so happy to have Ryan in class and that they are impressed with him in many aspects.

We started the meeting with a discussion on his Mandarin. His Mandarin teacher said that he seems to recognise many characters and his pronunciation is spot-on. We have received the same feedback from previous teachers so that did not surprise us. What did surprise us was hearing that Ryan is able to write the Chinese characters as well! His Mandarin teacher said that he is able to write them out precisely, stroke by stroke. Richard and I were flabbergasted! We have never taught Ryan how to write the characters so it is a complete mystery to us where he learned this. As with the mystery of the hanyu pinyin, this needs some investigation!

Ryan's Chinese teacher also mentioned that, although Ryan can converse in simple Mandarin, he only does so when he is conversing with her. She gives him no choice as she does not speak any English to him (although she does understand and can speak English). She suggested that we should try to set aside some time with Ryan at home during which we converse with him in Mandarin.

We asked if we should send him for Mandarin classes to give him more exposure. She was adamantly against it. She said that it would not make a lot of difference unless we "bring home" the language. Mandarin enrichment classes is more for learning the language and in Ryan's case, his knowledge of the language is already quite good. The issue, rather, is that, to Ryan, Mandarin is a language that is only used in school with his Mandarin teacher. Sending him for enrichment classes will simply give him another school and another teacher. It will not truly encourage him to use the language in his everyday life. His teacher advised that Ryan needs to see us using the language so that he can see that it is all right for him to also speak in Mandarin at home.

So I've been trying to sneak in some Mandarin words here and there and, recently, when Ryan goes to his usual fruit stall, he thanks the shopkeeper in Mandarin! Completely unprompted, he says "xièxie". I was so stunned the first time that I actually asked him, "Pardon? What did you say?" So, small steps forward.

Ok, back to the meeting with his teachers. After we discussed his Mandarin, we talked about other stuff generally. His core teacher said that everything is fantastic and there is just one thing that they would like to work on with him, which is to be more assertive. They all told me that Ryan is so gentle with his classmates, even when he is obviously uncomfortable. They had to teach him to hold up his hand and say, "Stop, I don't like that." The first few times, he said it so softly and gently that he might as well not have said it at all. The first time he actually stopped a classmate in a firm voice, he got a high-five from his teacher!

His core teacher mentioned that, in the same vein, they are also working on giving Ryan the chance to voice his ideas while in a large group. She said that Ryan is not shy because in smaller groups he is quite unrestrained. In big groups however (and we are talking when the whole class gathers together), he does not always volunteer his ideas. So the teachers consciously make the effort to ask Ryan what his view is or whether he has any ideas or if he wants to add on to his classmate's suggestions. I asked if we could do anything at home to help with this and the teachers said no, this is something that only they can work on because they have the big group dynamic in class.

His core teacher said that Ryan's ideas are always very impressive. In her words, "his ideas are very sophisticated" and "Ryan can single-handedly drive our inquiries with his ideas". We have received similar feedback from his previous class teacher so, not too surprising, but nevertheless such words are always, always wonderful to hear.

The teachers are all impressed with his reading skills and they told us that Ryan is regarded as "the expert" on reading among his classmates. If there is something that needs reading, Ryan is the one to do it and he is always happy to help his classmates out.

No issues with his social skills and his interactions with others. He is doing really well.

We also shared some funny stories about Ryan and it is wonderful to know that there was so much love for him among the five of us.

Ok, one last photo. Here, Ryan is holding a meter rule and, as you can see, Ryan is just a little taller than a meter (he is about 103 cm). He is still the smallest student in his class. One of his classmates is a whole head taller than him!

Friday, October 11, 2013

Some sweetness for the weekend

Posted by Pinkie Pirate at 5:26 PM

Hello friends, are you ready for the weekend? Richard and I have taken Monday off so, coupled with Tuesday being a public holiday, that's two extra days off work! Our plans won't be firmed up till tomorrow afternoon but it's going to be one of two alternatives: either we will be travelling or Ryan will be shooting a new advertisement. He had an audition yesterday and we are waiting to hear from his agent. Either way, we are looking forward to the next four days!

To send you off into the weekend with a smile, here's little babydoll flirting with her beloved owl. You may remember that Ryan has a giraffe. Well, Rachel has this owl. Let me know if you know where he lives! One hint: it's in the east of Singapore.

I love the last two photos - such a cheeky girl! Have a good weekend, all.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Ask and answer

Posted by Pinkie Pirate at 11:27 AM

Hello friends,

A quick post today to respond to one of the comments on my post on Rachel's new meal plan. I felt that the commenter probably represented a good number of parents in Singapore so I hope that by posting my response here for everyone, it might provide some additional insight into our choices for Rachel.

This was the comment:

It is a whole new idea to skip formula milk during the day at any caregiver's place and on milk (bm) at night. Your PD gives a different perspective from what other PDs mention with respect to milk is a must for calcium needs.
Have you considered full cream fresh/UHT milk?
Sippy Cup vs Straw Cup - any difference on dental hygiene?

Anonymous

Hi Anonymous,

Thanks for your comment, which I very much appreciate.

I'm flattered that you may have thought that I'm such an innovative person but really, it is not a whole new idea to rely on breastmilk and solids at this stage when Rachel is coming to 16 months. In fact, the World Health Organisation recommends exclusive breastfeeding up till 6 months and then breastfeeding with other food up till two years. The plan is to progress from (1) breastmilk to (2) breastmilk and solid foods then (3) to solid foods by the time she is two. This plan is, in no way at all, a whole new idea and it is in no way an idea that I came up with. Believe me, I won't do something like this unless I have researched the hell out of it. You can do some reading on this. Weaning, nutrition, there's so much information readily available.

I acknowledge it's not the norm in Singapore not to buy formula milk but to me, it's more of a cultural habit. Our son, Ryan, is on breastmilk and formula milk, so we are very much adopting the habit in his case and we are certainly not rebelling against the cultural norm, although I will say that, if Ryan was more interested in solids, we would definitely be relying less on formula milk. We just didn't have much of a choice in his case.

Having said that, I have to disagree when you say milk is a "must" for calcium needs. The "must" is the calcium and the vitamin D, not the milk itself. Milk is a good source of calcium but it is not the only source available. Not everyone is able or happy to take milk so it can never be a "must" otherwise these people would be severely malnourished! Milk is a convenience, because milk is so readily available and such a rich source, but again, not a "must". There are many other sources of calcium in food - yoghurt, cheese, soy, bread, fortified orange juice, etc. and for older children, supplements can be considered. Again, you can do some reading on this. Lots of information available.

My PD is not the only PD with this view, I'm sure, because it's a scientific fact which is undeniable - milk is not the only source of calcium. I'd be interested to know who the other PDs you mentioned are who believe that milk is a "must" for children of Rachel's age because they would be misinforming the parents and, frankly, scaring them. I wouldn't be consulting such PDs on anything - who knows what other misinformation they are disseminating.

Incidentally, my gynae also shares the same view as our PD. My gynae goes one step further to say that dairy milk is actually harmful to humans, whether infants or adults. He even removes the samples of formula milk from the free goodie bags that promoters leave at his clinic for his patients! Heh heh.

As for fresh milk/UHT, yes I considered it and ruled it out.

As I mentioned previously, I'm not against milk or dairy products. My son, Ryan, is on formula milk (and breastmilk). I myself enjoy a milky cup of Milo and, when I have tea, it is always with milk. It was simply that, in Rachel's case, for various reasons which I outlined in my post, we felt that this arrangement would be best. It compels us to move forward and to progress, whereas Ryan has truly hit a brick wall in terms of his diet. Your child may be different, your circumstances may be different and I am in no way saying that all parents should do the same. I do, nevertheless, want to clarify that this plan of ours not to rely on formula milk is supported by tons of nutritional research and is, in fact, the norm in many countries. It takes a little more effort, given our usual Asian diet, but I don't mind that.

With regard to sippy vs the straw, both are only temporary measures until the child learns to use a regular cup, so in terms of dental hygiene, I would not be worried if I clean her teeth regularly. If you need to compare, straw cups are better than sippy cups for dental hygiene and for teeth development. Rachel is currently using a straw cup for water at her nanny's and at home. We are training her at home to use a regular cup as well so once she is good with it, she can use a regular cup if she wants milk (or other beverages) at her nanny's place.

Hope that clarifies.

Cheers,

Leona

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Quick catch-up

Posted by Pinkie Pirate at 11:55 PM

Here's a quick photographic round-up of the last two weeks.

We split the kids up for bedtime and they are reunited in the morning when they are still asleep/semi-awake in bed. Normally the kids carry on sleeping while the adults get ready for work, although sometimes they wake up anyway and pull us from slumber. That's when we are greeted by two sunshine smiles. Love it.

Babydoll's hair is curly, curly, curly. I'm looking forward to seeing it go past her shoulders - I'm sure it will be gorgeous.

Babydoll has been expressing her fashion sense lately. See this photo below - Richard initially dressed her in this top and a pair of yellow pants. Babydoll went right back into her wardrobe and rummaged around until she found this plaid skirt. She brought it to us and asked to be changed into it. I do think the skirt looks much nicer as part of the outfit! This girl has a good fashion eye!

Since that time, I try to present her with options when I'm dressing her. She always, always chooses the more girly one. Like this dress (which was a gift from her Aunty Mary).

And this dress too. Girly right?

We spent an enjoyable evening with Alicia, Chris and Brayden two Sundays ago. They bought some black pepper crabs from Eng Seng for our dinner and we had lots of laughter playing board games. Ryan's strategy was completely absent but he somehow managed to win most of the games. Beginner's luck, I think!

Richard and I had a peaceful and satisfying dinner at Crab in da Bag at Big Splash. This was after our parent teacher conference at Ryan's preschool last week and before we went to fetch the kids from the nanny. It was our first time at this restaurant and it was good - we'll be back!.

I'll tell you more about the parent teacher conference in another post. For now, let's focus on the crab! This is the "before" photo.

And this is the "after" photo. As you may notice, we don't eat the crab roe so next time we'll ask for the male crab.

One of Ryan's friends had a birthday party last Saturday. It was a bowling and swimming party at the Chinese Swimming Club, with a spot of dancing in between. Ryan enjoyed himself so so so much. It was supposed to be "drop-off" so we stuck around for a short while to watch him bowl and then we went off for about an hour or so (for Rachel's Heguru and for me to go to the supermarket). Shortly after we left, Ryan called me (on the host's mobile phone) to tell me to come back! He was quite nervous without us and I think that most of the parents actually stayed on. The host assured me that he would be fine and that he just needed to hear my voice. They started up the dancing and singing segment right after that and, when we came back shortly after, the host told me that Ryan was so excited to sing and dance! Apparently, he confidently grabbed the microphone, put on some sunglasses and busted some moves! I asked him later what song he sang and he said "Gangnam Style"!

When we got back to the party, the kids were already in the pool. Ryan had a blast there! He was the absolute last person to leave the pool and only because he thought we were leaving without him (actually we were just walking back to the bowling area to find his shoes). It was a fabulous party - Happy 5th birthday to Leila!

On Sunday, we overslept and missed Rachel's Shichida class, while Ryan barely made it for swimming. For lunch, we visited the farmer's market at Pasarbella at The Grandstand. After a disappointing experience at the farmer's market at Dempsey, I was looking forward to much better offerings and this time, I was not disappointed. Worth the trip - do go if you can. We ate at Oceans of Seafood which is towards the back. It serves a wide Japanese seafood menu (the sashimi is supposedly very good) and a limited but good Western seafood menu (go for the fish and chips).

Last but not least, while we were shopping in the supermarket last Sunday, Rachel spotted this!

And yes, it was Rachel who spotted it before any of us did. She pointed to it and said "papa". Errr... she doesn't know how to say "Ryan" or "korkor" (big brother) yet, so we'll accept that! If you see Ryan's poster in Cold Storage, give it a secret wink, won't you?

That's all!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Updates on Rachel - new meal plan

Posted by Pinkie Pirate at 6:34 PM

I spent a few days last week researching into toddler nutrition and this week, we've embarked on a new strategy for Rachel's meals.

Rachel has been wonderful with solids - very interested and very open-minded. She does refuse certain foods, but only after she's given them a try. I've reduced her milk feeds and, since a few months ago, I have not been expressing breastmilk during the workday. She latches on when we are together and, when we are not together during the workday, she doesn't get any milk. I don't provide her nanny with any milk, whether breastmilk or formula.

Last week, her nanny asked if I could buy formula for Rachel's stage. She said that Rachel is hungry between meals and she has been giving Rachel a bottle of Ryan's formula, which is not appropriate for Rachel's age.

I had some thoughts on this, which prompted me to delve deeper and research further and, in this post, I'll share some of my conclusions.

First, the bottle. It is recommended that children progress from the bottle/nipple to the cup from one year onwards. The goal is to reduce reliance on the bottle and on sucking and to encourage more reliance on solids and chewing.

Some parents may choose to make the transition gradually by using a sippy cup in between. I did come across some articles saying that sippy cups do not promote good oral hygiene but I think that can be countered with brushing your child's teeth regularly.

Next, the milk. What I understand from my various discussions with Dr Ngiam and my own research is that milk is not a must. If milk is part of your toddler's diet, it should not be the main part after your child turns one. In Dr Ngiam's words, milk should be like coffee and tea - just a beverage. At this stage we should be looking to nutrient-packed solids for our child's dietary needs.

The general recommendation, mostly from Western sources, is to start weaning the child off milk during the period between one and two years old. The rationale is that this is an important window to get the children to eat solids and chew their food. If their diet still consists mainly of milk when they are between two and four, there is a risk that they will prefer to stick to milk and become picky with food. I found this to have proved true in Ryan's case. Before he turned two, I could still offer him chicken rice and fried rice; now he only takes white rice.

Having made such progress, it did not make sense to "go backwards" and put Rachel on formula milk. I did not want to start a habit which we would eventually have to wean her off of. I note that the culture in Singapore seems to be to rely on milk for as long as possible and to wean the child off it when he/she is much older. I guess Rachel crossed the finish line ahead of most of her Singapore peers and presented her nanny with a novel situation which makes her nanny a little concerned and uneasy.

So, should we give Rachel any milk at all? Well, milk is still a rich source of certain nutrients - Ryan is as healthy as can be. Plus I knew that her nanny would be more at ease to have something to offer Rachel between meals.

Since I was looking into it, I decided to check up the nutritional pros and cons of different types of milk (formula milk, fresh milk, goat's milk, non-dairy milk). In the end, I decided on almond milk and I managed to pick up some organic unsweetened almond milk (original) from Pacific Foods. I will ask Rachel's nanny to serve it in a sippy/training cup, and only if she feels that she has no other option.

I should say that I'm not against dairy products for Rachel. Rachel takes a helping of whole milk yoghurt every morning, and she gets an extra helping if she's hungry in the afternoon.

I should also point out that almond milk is not perfect because it has very little protein and fat. Our little ones do need protein to grow and fat is absolutely crucial to build up their amazing brains. Sources of protein and healthy fat (other than milk) include oily fish (such as tuna and salmon), eggs, soy, meat, peanut butter, tofu and avocados. The recommendations for toddlers around Rachel's age is to consume 30 to 40 per cent of their daily calories from fat. A little sidenote - never restrict your toddler's calories or dietary fat please! Dieting is an absolute no-no at this stage!

So, in order to reassure Rachel's nanny that it is possible to survive without formula milk, we spent the weekend shopping for all sorts of food and snacks. Yesterday, I brought everything to her nanny and discussed the strategy with her. I initially held back the almond milk but her nanny mentioned that having some warm milk in her tummy does help babydoll to sleep and she does not need a bottle every day; there are days that she goes without. So, I passed her the almond milk as well, together with a new sippy cup.

Actually, it isn't a big change for Rachel's nanny as Rachel does get a good variety of nutrients at her nanny's; her nanny even buys salmon for her, and all sorts of meats and fish. Main meals are fine; it's the snack times that her nanny needs options for. (Children around Rachel's age need three main meals and two snacks in between.)

At home, it's going to make a lot more of a difference. Prior to this, for Rachel's meals, I had a vague guideline that she should get some carbohydrates, some protein, some fibre, some fruits, etc. Doing so much research has made me a lot more aware of exactly what nutrients Rachel should be getting and how much every day/week, so I'm going to put that knowledge to work from now on!

Monday, October 7, 2013

More fine motor work

Posted by Pinkie Pirate at 11:59 PM

Hello friends, I'm back! Last week was pretty eventful and gave me a lot of food for thought, some parenting-related and others, not so much. I'm still sorting out a few things in my head and, once I get my ducks in a row, I'll share some thoughts here.

In the meantime, let me share this activity that I put out for Rachel recently. It's a simple set up - a wooden bowl containing pipe cleaners (chenille sticks) and straws of different widths placed next to a overturned plastic dish with holes (actually it's the thing that I put in my rice cooker when I want to steam food). As you can see, she aims and sticks a straw/pipe cleaner into a hole. That's it.

After I introduced the activity to her, I left it on the children's table. Babydoll has sat down and done it a few times already, each time requiring zero assistance from me.

On this occasion, she started sucking on the straws, as if testing to see if anything would happen!

I especially love that she placed a yellow bumble bee on her handiwork. Lovely! I wonder if she imagined the bee among the flowers that she'd planted - hohoho, aren't I being presumptuous here!

If you are thinking of doing something similar, you can use a colander. Using pipe cleaners allows the child to create fanciful designs by bending or looping the pipe cleaners. They can create monsters or animals or whatever they imagine. This is a brilliant activity that keeps them entertained for a good amount of time and you'll see it all over the internet. For an older child, you can also use a toothpick holder or a salt shaker, with toothpicks or satay sticks, in which case, it will be much more of a fine motor exercise, with less of a creative element.

In other news, babydoll is still very much into stacking objects. Now she has progressed to placing the bigger object over the smaller one, or the smaller one inside the bigger one, such that they nest into each other, showing that she is starting to understand proportions and sizes.

I actually have lots more to share with you - this little munchkin is always up to something! I don't always manage to capture a photo of what she's doing, hence the lack of posts. Will try harder!