The Bub in the Belly

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about change. There are going to be a lot of changes for our little family in the upcoming months.  A new home next month, a new job for Richard in January, a new routine for Tiger, and some lifestyle changes that come with the new home, the new job and the new routine for the pets.

Judging by the massive number of self-help books that teach you how to change your life for the better, I suppose there are lots of people out there looking for change. Me? Change is the last thing I want sometimes. Still, change is unstoppable, however unwelcome it is. So, our approach is to go with the flow and trust that everything will work out, and it always does.

The most painful change that we've suffered was a miscarriage a few years ago. We were devastated and we mourned and cried for our loss. After some time, we healed and we continued to open our hearts to the idea of having a family. Now we have Ryan, our gift and our blessing.

It is not always easy but I like to think that Richard and I are people who see the glass as "half-full" and not "half-empty". So when change hits us, we don't spend a lot of time complaining or whining. We don't continue to cling on to what has been lost, instead we are optimistic about what lies in store for us. It's like playing poker. When you are dealt a bad hand, you do the best you can with it and after that, you forget it and move on to the next hand and stay focused on a winning outcome.

Then there are times when, instead of change being forced upon us, we are lucky enough to be given a choice whether to make a change or not. It can be a hard decision because we may have to forgo things which we enjoy or leave behind things which we love. I think that many people, including me on occasion, reject the opportunity to make changes, no matter what the self-help books say. Those were the times when I felt that my life was perfect, I had everything I wanted and I didn't need anything else. I didn't want to step out of my comfort zone, I didn't want to leave what was familiar.

For example, when we moved out from our Cairnhill apartment, we thought that we'd miss being able to stroll down to Orchard Road for shopping or to Newton Circus for supper. We definitely enjoyed living there and it was appropriate for our lifestyle at the time - working ourselves to the bone during the day, clubbing and pubbing late into the night, shopping at all the designer labels, being close to the "hip and the happening". We wouldn't have changed a thing, we were so happy.

After we moved, we realised that, ironically, we had handicapped ourselves when we were living in Cairnhill. Living in such a convenient location, we never felt the need to venture very far and we didn't feel the need to try new things because everything was just a few minutes away or just a short walk down the road. We thought that we had everything we needed nearby but we were just short-sighted. In reality, we had made our world very small and limited and prevented ourselves from gaining new insights and experiences.

Once we moved away to a "less convenient" location, we made more effort to explore new places and do new activities. We started spending more time in parks and at the beach. We also spent more time at home, reading, cooking, crafting, gardening, tending to our hobbies and hanging out with our pets. We had lots of new and different experiences and lots more fun.

That's why sometimes when I'm faced with a choice, I like to think that it's God's way of telling me that there're some goodies waiting for me, but I have to let go of what I'm holding before I can grab onto and receive His blessings.

Apart from expanding our world, our relocation and our resulting change in lifestyle also prepared us mentally for parenthood. So when Ryan eventually came along, we didn't feel like we had to "give up" our old life because we had already outgrown it. There was no point being within walking distance to the malls along Orchard Road or being able to walk out for a midnight movie or for a late night supper or being able to walk home from Zouk because we weren't interested in those things anymore. Instead, we wanted to spend the time cuddling with Ryan in bed, reading books to him at home, cycling along the beach, having a homecooked meal and chasing bubbles in the park.

So it's true that, when we move out of River Valley and out of our landed home, our pets won't be able to just walk in and out of the house and we won't be able to park our cars right outside our front door. We will miss those little conveniences. But there's little else that we will miss. There're so many more goodies waiting for us. We're going to have a swimming pool. We're going to be close to the beach. New restaurants to try, new places to explore. It's going to be wonderful and we can hardly wait.

The tree outside our house changing its leaves for the season (the building in the background is the condominium opposite our house which was recently constructed)